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Messi’s Escalade Is Proof He’s The Biggest Baller In The World

Today, we are going to talk about what really matters in life, like how big of a baller Lionel Messi is, and how we will never in our lives come close to achieving an equal baller status. We know this because his new 2015 Cadillac Escalade is pretty much the most baller thing to ever ball on four wheels. 

HE HAS A HOME THEATER, IN HIS CAR!!! That doesn’t make any sense! But when you are one of the highest paid athletes on the planet, it doesn’t really matter how much sense you make, least of all in the cash spending department. 

It’s entirely possible that, after Sunday’s El Clasico win, Messi took his girlfriend out on the town, only to realize that they should just party in his Escalade, because nowhere in Barcelona can match the class of that interior.

Maybe they ordered some of that pizza that Messi supposedly dropped from his diet.

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