What do you do when your defense is lacking the resolve, concentration and fortitude to repel foreign attackers? According to one British souvenir manufacturer, you draft the man in charge of the world’s second largest standing army.
The bumbling porcelain producer clearly decided that Barack Obama represented a better line of defense than Chris Smalling, replacing the United man with the President’s head on a run of 2,000 commemorative England World Cup mugs.
Do President Obama (left) and Chris Smalling (right) really resemble one another? You be the judge. (Photo: @itvnews | Twitter)
And who would argue with them? Can Smalling, Glen Johnson or Leighton Baines call on the firepower of more than 5,000 nuclear warheads? Probably not. Do Gary Cahill and Phil Jagielka have a greater aerial presence than that at the President’s disposal? Not on current evidence. Could Wayne Rooney deliver a pre-match team-talk of comparable eloquence and stature? Let’s not even go there.
Despite the mix-up, the manufacturer is now trying to offload the run of 2,000 mugs for more than $3,000. Karl Baxter of British company Wholesale Clearance says the company contacted him with the hope of off-loading the stock. His sales pitch? "This is your chance to snatch up a piece of World Cup history. Who would ever believe that Barack Obama ever played for England? Hang on to this England cup and you'll have a great story to tell your grandkids."
Obama isn’t the first political leader to make his way into the wonderful world of professional football. Last month, President Evo Morales of Bolivia signed for first division side Sport Boys. Apparently the President “plays well” and will wear the no. 10 shirt. He’ll manage about 20 minutes per match, but won’t play every game because, you know, he’s got a day job.
All of which begs the question: If you could draft one world leader – past or present – into your team, who would it be and where would they play? Answer on a postcard.
