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News

England And Slovakia's Brutal 0-0 Draw Allows Wales To Win Group B

Fans of uninteresting 0-0 draws must have been delighted at Slovakia vs. England Monday, because it set the standard for uninteresting 0-0 draws. Slovakia fans also probably enjoyed it, because the result means the Slovaks are likely through to the knockout stage.

Unbiased observers (really, if you're an unbiased observer, why would you watch this game?) took naps, while England fans and Martin Skrtel haters — a lot of overlap in that group — were not thrilled about the game.

England vs. Slovakia

Photo: @BBCMOTD | Twitter

Slovakia's goalie, Matus Kozacik, put on a great performance, but we're giving our Man of the Match award to Martin Skrtel for a moment in the second half when he pulled the best fake injury of all time. Skrtel intercepted an Enfland pass just inside the 18, cleared it, then, with his legs spread from stretching from the ball, fell over, seemingly in slow motion and with no attempt to arrest his fall via his legs. It was like a large tree falling in the forest. 

This was Slovakia's first-ever clean sheet in a major tournament.

Another highlight: Steve McManaman coming thisclose to saying the f-word on live television then catching himself. Steve McManaman was angrier during this game than the Russian hooligans who keep throwing chairs at people. This might have been the only game Martin Skrtel has ever played in where he wasn't the angriest person there.

Really, the people who enjoyed this game the most were the Welsh, who, thanks to England not being able to navigate past Slovakia's defense, have finished at the top of Group B after sending the Russians back to Russia.

Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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