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Cristiano Ronaldo Is A Walking Contradiction

By Sam Klomhaus June 22, 2016
Featured Image
Cristiano Ronaldo didn't perform up to expectations at Euro 2016, until he did.
Photo: @ESPNFC | Twitter

My favorite moment of Euro 2016 so far was not an amazing goal. It was not an amazing save, or Wales somehow winning their group, or any song sang by the Irish, or Jogi Low being disgusting. At the end of Iceland and Portugal's 1-1 draw, Cristiano Ronaldo stood over a free kick from a little less than 25 yards out, easily within his range. He took the free kick. He smashed it right into the wall. The ball bounced up off the wall and while it was in the air the ref blew the whistle to end the game. Ronaldo turned around in disgust and frustration. The ball came down and bonked him on the head. It was beautiful.

I f***ing love hating Cristiano Ronaldo. It's like my favorite thing.

By many accounts, he's a nice guy off the field, and quite possibly a legitimately a good person. There's that story about the kid with cancer whose family reached out to Ronaldo for some cleats for a charity auction and Ronaldo ended up paying for the kid's $80,000 surgery. That's a cool thing to do! I wish every famous athlete did things like that!

But God, I love watching him struggle on the field. Shooting way more than anyone else at Euro 2016 and not scoring? Delicious. Saying Iceland have a "small mentality" after they tied his Portugal squad? Music to my ears. Keep it coming. I want more. More more more.

The missed penalty was perfect. Moments like that sustain me, probably because Ronaldo is just so freakin' good it's unbearable. I am not proud of this. 

He has a lot of grating habits, like spending way too much time on his eyebrows and trying to sell me tassel loafers and throwing microphones into lakes.

Alejando Moreno said Ronaldo had had a "full tournament by anybody's standards" during the Portugal vs. Hungary broadcast (the match ended 3-3), and I'm inclined to agree.

Roughly 15 minutes after Moreno said that Ronaldo did this:

And after that he scored again. I was desperately rooting for Portugal to be knocked out, but I'm also glad they advanced. That makes no sense. Ronaldo simply cannot be summed up in one sentence.

OK maybe he can.

Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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