Never Leave a Game Early
Liverpool were gifted two own goals by QPR in stoppage time, earning them a lucky three points. (@LFCphoto | Twitter)
Your correspondent confesses to having left games early from time to time; once, a last-minute equalizer was missed, which was frustrating. On another occasion, both a last-minute equalizer and a subsequent penalty shoot-out were forfeited, which was unprintably annoying.
But do as we say, not as we do. For anyone who left Loftus Road prematurely Sunday would have missed a dazzling final seven minutes that contained four goals and more emotional ups and downs than a spotty teenager on Valentine’s Day. For the first time this season, Harry Redknapp’s QPR showed the sort of fight and gumption they’re going to have to produce week-in, week-out if they’re to remain in the Premier League: they will feel rightly aggrieved to have come away from their tie against Liverpool with nothing.
Brendan Rodgers, on the other hand, travelled back up to Merseyside with a win but more questions than answers. Liverpool were awful, and it’s no surprise they required two own goals and a deflected shot to secure all three points. With Daniel Sturridge out for another two-to-four weeks, and Mario Balotelli in the midst of a goal drought so dry it makes the Sahara look like a water park, the rapier counter-attacks of last season have been blunted.
Keep Your Enemies Close
As Machiavelli wrote, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer: Harry Redknapp must wonder where exactly Richard Dunne sits in this old adage. For a central defender, Dunne’s career record of 21 Premier League goals is impressive. Unfortunately for him, and all of his former managers and teammates, 10 of those goals were scored into his own net.
Heed the Broken Record
Just because it’s oft-repeated doesn’t make it any less true: for the umpteenth time, Arsenal failed to beat opponents far beneath them in pure footballing terms because they don’t have the requisite strength, depth or bite in defense and central midfield. Why Arsene Wenger failed to sign a robust midfielder (Alex Song, say), or a suitable replacement for Thomas Vermaelen, is the question on every Gunner's lips. Indeed, it’s the question that’s been perpetually on their minds for the past nine years, only with different names inserted. It’s beyond bewildering that a man as erudite and experienced as Wenger doesn’t recognize the necessity of steel and grit to accompany the beguiling and the beautiful.
Street Fighting Man / Blinded by Rainbows
Chelsea’s 2-1 victory away to Crystal Palace neatly encapsulated why (hostage to fortune alert) Jose Mourinho’s side are an absolute nailed-on certainty to win the league this season, and here, in two sentences, is why:
1. They have the street-smarts to win dirty, out-fighting Crystal Palace and, when down to 10-men themselves, expertly pressuring referee Craig Pawson into sending off Damien Delaney for a marginal second yellow card
2. They have players of true footballing genius in their midst: Oscar’s free kick was devastating, while Cesc Fabregas’ second-half strike is already a candidate for goal of the season
It’s a potent combination, and one Arsene Wenger should heed.
You’re Welcome
We promised you goals from Manchester City vs. Spurs, and goals there duly were. Sure, it wasn’t 8-0, but five strikes and two saved penalties is still pretty good going; If you couldn’t tell, that’s the sound of The18’s trumpet playing jubilantly in the background.
The Premier League continues to look like a blue-horse race this season.
First Quarter Review
"Coach it's been three months and our defense is still terrible..." (Photo:@Mailsport | Twitter)
“Judge me after three months,” said Louis van Gaal at the start of his Manchester United tenure. Well, Monday’s match against West Brom was pretty much a microcosm of the Dutchman’s first quarter: utterly dominant going forward (63% possession, 15 shots to 6, 11 corners to 0), but terrifying to watch at the back. The Baggies are just 14th in the league, yet whenever Saido Berahino and Stephane Sessegnon broke with the ball they looked as thought they could carve up the Red Devils at will.
Until van Gaal sorts out his defense, there are no guarantees United will finish in the Champions League spots, regardless of how poorly their other challengers are currently playing.
Transition, Like Lunch, Is For Wimps
Despite all the offseason drama, Southampton are sitting pretty in third place after an 8-0 shellacking versus Sunderland. (Photo:@BBCMOTD | Twitter)Despite all the offseason drama, Southampton are sitting pretty in third place after an 8-0 shellacking versus Sunderland. (Photo:@BBCMOTD | Twitter)
So said Gordon Gekko, or at least he would have done if he owned Southampton FC. We’ve said this before, but in light of their spectacular 8-0 dismantling of Sunderland it bears repeating: this summer they lost their manager, six first team regulars and were 5/1 with British bookies to be relegated. They currently sit third in the table, playing some of the best football in the league.
Scoring eight goals in a single game of top-flight football will always grab the headlines, but it’s the other end of the field that deserves attention: Southampton lost three of their regular starting defenders in the summer window, yet Ronald Koeman’s side have the best defensive record in the Premier League.
Take Comfort Where You Can
Some words of comfort for Sunderland supporters (and God knows they need them): of the 13 occasions on which a Premier League side has been spanked by seven goals or more, only five times was the beaten team subsequently relegated at the end of the season. Indeed, Wigan were thumped by an eight goal margin twice in 2009-10, and still survived to tell the tale.
Are Spring-Loaded Neck Implants A Thing?
Judging by Enner Valencia’s 54th minute header for West Ham against Burnley, they must be.
Bullet.
