Nutmegs — alongside cross-field rakers, back heels and an inordinate amount of step-overs — constitute one of the greatest forms of artistry in our beautiful game. The act of the nutmeg is equal parts illusion and imagination; it transcends the simple reality of moving the ball from Point A to Point B and replaces it with something sublime. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, a nutmeg tells us of beautiful, untrue things. (After all, a nutmeg is rarely ever a decisive moment.)
Tuesday, Lionel Messi was in peak Lionel Messi form for Barcelona against Valladolid. His every touch was divine, every decision exalted and every action superb. You couldn’t have dreamed a better performance.
And apart from a stunning free kick, a venomous half-volley and two surgical assists, it was the number he performed on Óscar Plano that got everyone giddier than a 60-year-old Facebook commentator.
Personally, I thought this ad placement on r/Soccer was a bit much, but I do understand the association.
beaspermdonor.com knows you're now in the mood.
What really captivated on this particular panna was Plano’s reaction. For a brief moment, he went from a supremely gifted footballer who was trained at Real Madrid’s famed La Fábrica to an everyman. He was you and I sharing the pitch with Lionel Messi and coming off it with a story for our grandchildren, albeit a kind of war story.
Plano, of course, isn’t the first to be on the receiving end of La Pulga’s wrath. Perhaps the most famous nutmeg reaction of all time was triggered after Messi dropped James Milner to the floor in the Champions League with Pep Guardiola watching from the stands. It's pure, unadulterated joy.
With these two Messi examples as our inspiration, here’s a selection of some other priceless reactions to nutmegs.
The Best Nutmeg Reactions
Érik Lamela on Andros Townsend. Townsend just keeps walking like a disconsolate widower on a cold, windswept beach.
Zlatan Ibrahimović gets megged and smirks a knowing smirk.
Benjamin Mendy dices Nabil Fekir. One fan in the background would do well to answer that sperm donation ad.
David Luiz says goodbye to Neymar, but Marcelo is there to console Junior.
Marcus Rashford destroys Fred and everyone blasts off in different directions like minnows in disturbed water.
Miralem Pjanic gives Nicolò Barella a migraine.
The little happy feet dance after the meg. Precious.
This nutmeg
The opposition's soul drained from his body
That little dance— Grass Root Goals (@GrassRootGoals_) May 8, 2018
If you listen closely, you’ll hear the defender’s body language scream “Oh god dammit!”
Meehan with the meg.#NJvWAS | #NWSL pic.twitter.com/rGe6HVhlzb
— NWSL (@NWSL) June 9, 2018
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