There are great goals, crap goals and meh goals. Then there are the goals that are just mean. Philippe Coutinho scored a meh goal and a great goal on Saturday against Werder Bremen, but the middle strike of his hat trick fell firmly in the category of cruel and unusual punishment.
Bayern Munich fell behind early to Bremen but ran away with an easy 6-1 win, with Coutinho netting three. Robert Lewandowski added two, because of course he did, and Thomas Müller joined in on the fun as well.
Coutinho’s first was nothing all that special. He made a good back-post run and was rewarded with a tap-in to equalize in the 45th minute.
And breathe, @FCBayernUS fans.
Coutinho gets the hosts level, after great work from Kimmich and Gnabry. pic.twitter.com/pLTfjoIusE— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) December 14, 2019
Bayern led at the half as Lewandowski scored four minutes into first-half stoppage time. In the second half, the Brazilian winger took over.
In the 63rd minute, Coutinho scored one of the most absurd, mean lobs you’ll ever see, flicking the ball high and over Jiri Pavlenka while simultaneously turning away as if he knew it was going in before he even kicked it.
COUTINHO!
The Brazilian magician lobs the goalkeeper for his second goal of the day and third this week! pic.twitter.com/ZuJP1sm0eA— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) December 14, 2019
I mean c’mon, that’s not even fair to the Bremen keeper.
But that wasn’t enough for Coutinho. The little magician completed his hat trick with the type of goal that made him famous at Liverpool, a long-range blast in the 78th minute.
STOP IT, COUTINHO!
WHAT A GOAL TO SEAL THE HAT TRICK!!! pic.twitter.com/tb6TNIeQFV— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) December 14, 2019
It should be noted with his second goal on Saturday, Lewandowski moved into a tie for third all time on the Bundesliga scoring charts. The Polish striker, 31, now has 220 goals, equaling Jupp Heynckes. He’s still got some work ahead of him to catch second-place Klaus Fischer (268) and first-place Gerd Müller (365).
Another one!
Lewandowski combines wonderfully with Muller and is now T-3rd on the all-time @Bundesliga_EN scoring list. pic.twitter.com/vvTAaIrnpd— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) December 14, 2019
Despite the win, Bayern is still in fourth place, four points out of first behind Borussia Monchengladbach, which has a game in hand.