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This is 26-year-old Scunthorpe United midfielder Josh Morris, aka the Maestro, aka the Commander-in-swazz, aka the purest two-footed footballer we’ve seen since Socrates was strolling around parks at Spain ’82. Morris was the designer, creator, originator and producer of two of the finest curlers of the 2017-18 season so far, and he scored them in the span of two second half minutes.

A magnificent Jamie Vardy goal put the Foxes in front early in Leicester City’s match against Tottenham on Tuesday. Less than 13 minutes into the match, Vardy first-timed a lobbed pass over Spurs keeper Hugo Lloris in impressive fashion.

Vardy apparently does not care about level of difficulty. He just wants to score. Vardy entered Tuesday with a five-match scoreless streak and he ended it in style. 

FC Magdeburg scored a 2-1 derby win over Hallescher on Saturday in Germany’s 3. Liga in front of 22,481 fans. The impressive crowd — more than many MLS matches despite being third tier — saw an absurd Christian Beck back-heel goal the likes of which we’ve never seen before.

A 29-year-old striker who has spent his career in the lower divisions of Germany, Beck made the most out of a mistimed jumped to score the opener for Magdeburg, somehow.