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Aprende a manejar el regate del mismísimo Messi en este video.

Want to learn how you can make Jerome Boateng fall down like a stiff log, or walk past Real Madrid’s defense? Check this out.

Could Lionel Messi Leave Barcelona For His Boyhood Club In Argentina?

First things first, people. Lionel Messi is not going anywhere...any time soon, at least.

According to reports from Diario Gol, the Argentinian superstar is pushing for an escape clause in his new contract with FC Barcelona that would allow him to leave for Newell's Old Boys – his boyhood club in Rosario, Santa Fe, Argentina – presumably sometime in the future. 

Ronaldo Fires Back At Critics With Four Goals Against Andorra

Recently, Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo has been the subject of intense scrutiny, with critics claiming that the two time Ballon d'Or winner has lost a step.

In true superstar fashion, Ronaldo didn’t spend time complaining in the media like Madrid captain Sergio Ramos, but instead fired back at critics with a convincing four-goal performance, just one goal shy of Portugal’s record for goals in a game. This game marks his 42nd career hat trick, as the Portuguese star showed that he is still one of the best.

Bob Bradley Is Back In The Spotlight And Throwing Shots At Jurgen Klinsmann

Bob Bradley is quickly proving he can hang with the best managers in the Premier League, at least in terms of banter.

Bradley's first press conference as manager of Swansea City included a shot at his successor as USMNT manager, Jurgen Klinsmann.

Here's the excerpt everyone's talking about: 

"From the day I got fired from the U.S., I've not said one thing publicly about that team. I don't appreciate the way it was done; I think they made a mistake," Bradley said.

This Norwegian Man Wants The Sperm Of Cristiano Ronaldo And Zlatan

We're going to be honest, we think this might be fake. It just seems staged to us. Just a feeling we have.

It's still pretty funny though, so whatever. Someone get this man some sperm.

Serious question: how will he know he's actually getting the sperm of a superstar footballer? What if he's just getting sperm from some random dude? 

I suppose that's not his greatest worry right now, but it's something to think about.

(H/T The Goalmouth)

With Clint Dempsey Out, The Sounders Are Sharing The Burden While Climbing The Table

Heading into the 2016 MLS season, all signs pointed towards another successful year for the Seattle Sounders. Legendary coach Sigi Schmid was at the helm. Seattle secured the best player in the draft, home-grown talent Jordan Morris. Clint Dempsey was still in top form and there were promising attacking additions in Andreas Ivanschitz and Nelson Valdez.

Instead, the first half of 2016 was a disaster for the Sounders. The Rave Green lost 12 of their first 20 matches and sat well outside of the playoff positions at the MLS All-Star Break. 

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