Humor

Wenger Watch Europa League Special: Slightly Less Panicking For Now

The Wenger Watch took the weekend off because we care deeply about work-life balance, but we're back to chart Arsene Wenger's career prospects as he and Arsenal venture into the Europa League group stage.

After much deliberation we have decided to put the Wenger-O-Meter in the MIDDLE. We are AMBIVALENT at this time. It could go EITHER WAY.

Frank De Boer's 5 Games In Charge Of Crystal Palace, Ranked

Frank de Boer was let go by Crystal Palace this weekend after losing 1-0 to Burnley. It was just his fourth league match in charge, and his fifth overall. Granted, he lost all four of those league matches, only winning a Carabao Cup match against Ipswich Town. In memory of de Boer's time at Palace, we ranked his five matches in charge from worst to best. And no they weren't just all the worst.

Lionel Messi's New Tattoo Is Weird

Lionel Messi is a very tattooed man and he has a penchant for tattoos some folks might consider strange. For example, the one on his left leg, which is almost completely black, like someone colored his lower leg with a sharpie.

He has a new tattoo which could be considered weird, a pair of lips (presumably modeled on those belonging to his wife) on his abdomen, which he shared a picture of after Barcelona's 5-0 win against Espanyol in the Catalan derby, in which Messi scored a hat trick.

Messi Is Way Better Than Wayne Rooney At The Piano

Lionel Messi is a man of singular talents on the football pitch. He does pretty much everything better than everyone else. You would be forgiven for thinking Messi's soccer talents necessarily mean he has not been endowed with any other type of talent. I mean, how lucky can one guy get?

You would be wrong, though, because Messi does have other talents, as Adidas has helpfully informed us in this video of Messi playing the Champions League song on the piano.

Mexico's Scariest Player Is Coming For Your National Team

We soccer fans often forget there’s more to life than just the beautiful game. So, please note: this weekend the movie "IT," inspired by Stephen King's eponymous novel, is in theaters. Remember Pennywise, that demonic clown that made us wet our pants as children in the nineties? Well, IT is back.

As it turns out, there's something even more terrifying than IT lurking around soccer fields.

Montpellier Realizes Embarrassing Typo On Jerseys Four Matches Into Season

Remember those awful spelling tests growing up? The ones that seemed so pointless because everything has spellcheck these days? Well, maybe your teacher had a point; maybe those exercises weren’t so useless after all.

Four matches into the Ligue 1 season, Montpellier realized the club’s jerseys, both official and fan-bought, were produced with a typo on the team crest located on the left breast of the shirt. Montpellier was spelled with one ‘L’ instead of two, even though it's spelled correctly on the right side of the chest. Oof.

Joe Hart Loudly Swearing Is The Best Moment In Liverpool-Manchester City History

Manchester City and Liverpool have scored their fair shares of incredible goals against each other, but there's one moment in their storied history that stands out. It's from Liverpool's 4-1 win over City in 2015.

Martin Skrtel's thunderous goal from a corner kick put a lid on the game, and Joe Hart (or someone who sounds EXACTLY like him), standing too close to a microphone, said the f-word really loud. The broadcast picked it up. It was beautiful.

The Worst 12-Second Display Of Goalkeeping In The History Of The Game

According to researchers from the Georgia Institute of Technology, all mammals take an average of 12 seconds to poop. Regardless of the size of the rectum, be it an elephant’s sphincter or a cat’s, that s**t is riding a wave of mucus like “a sled sliding down a chute” and out in no time flat. Unless it’s diarrhea — that confounds all mathematical models.

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