Humor

I’ll admit, I’m quite enjoying having an excuse to never leave my apartment. Whenever I’m not working, I’m happily passing the time playing video games, watching TV/movies and trying out new cocktail recipes. Sure there’s no soccer to watch, but otherwise life is just fine for introverts like myself. 

But there are moments when being under shelter-in-place orders are less than ideal, and I’m not talking about the combat in Final Fantasy 7 Remake, which simply isn’t fun. 

If you're close to or know anyone who's a Liverpool fan, please check in on them as April 27 is a traumatic calendar date.

Six years ago today, the Reds were in prime position to win the Premier League for the first time in 24 years. With three games left, Liverpool had it in the bag. The final big test was hosting Chelsea at Anfield, where Liverpool had been unstoppable.

Then came the moment that Reds fans suppress as much as possible: the Steven Gerrard slip.

Rather than filling the void, these massive FIFA tournaments that are being broadcast on Twitch, FS1 and Telemundo have only served to highlight what a godawful replacement eSports are for their real life equivalents. Put simply, they’re not that fun to watch.

I’ve also realized that there’s a direct correlation between being good at FIFA and being particularly boring — who really wants to see someone exploit the game’s META (Most Effective Tactics Available) bullshit time after time while looking like Manchester City on bath salts? 

Barcelona wasn’t always able to rebound after losing a first leg 4-0 like it did in 2017 against PSG.

Back on April 23, 2013, Bayern Munich stunned the world and dismantled Barcelona 4-0 in the first leg before securing a 3-0 win in the second leg. One of the most memorable moments of the 7-0 aggregate thrashing was Thomas Muller obliterating Jordi Alba with a pick that would be illegal even in basketball.

Muller’s pick on Alba is still one of the most savage moments in football history.

*Headphone users: Turn down your volume as the audio is quite loud*

On April 22, 2000, Marcelo Balboa scored the greatest goal in MLS history for the Colorado Rapids in Columbus. The Balboa bicycle kick is an iconic goal that won MLS Goal of the Year in 2000 and is still one of, if not the, best goals in league history.

As Newcastle United’s takeover by the sovereign wealth fund of Saudi Arabia nears completion, we’re hit with a whole myriad of questions: those of the damningly ethical variety vs.

Footballers and the social media app TikTok haven’t always been the greatest combination. At first it was some cringe-worthy dances, then is it was whatever the hell Layvin Kurzawa was doing. Now the tables have turned and the latest trend is a quite humorous recreation of footballers at the “airport.” 

Young Leeds United fan Daniel Huton was not completely disappointed after sending a letter to Brighton asking to keep his new favorite player. Five-year-old Huton’s favorite is Benjamin White, who's currently on loan at Leeds and will go back to Brighton at the end of the season. 

Huton raided his piggy bank, pulled out pen and paper and made his offer for the defender.

After months of in-depth research, it is all but confirmed somewhere along the line the U.S. lost its greatest potential youth player to the Fortnite gods. After being put into various game lobbies with players, there is no doubt that a soccer legend was hiding amidst the games.

The mighty “Slaminator10” I was paired up with for a match seemed to have to chops to be the USMNT’s new No. 10. Alas, Slaminator made the decisive act to pick up a controller rather than a soccer ball.

A world without football is a world gone mad. That's the exact case with Layvin Kurzawa as he's clearly lost his mind after posting the most horrifying TikTok video I've seen in some time. I pray the Kurzawa TikTok saga doesn’t last too long.