Funny

*Fox NFL theme music*

*Camera pans to Lincoln Financial Field*

Joe Buck: "Welcome to Philadelphia, PA for this riveting divisional game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Elgin City FC, as these two rivals fight for the NFC East title. I'm Joe Buck and this is my partner Troy Aikman, and Troy, what have you made of this stifling Elgin City defense?"

That's right, move over Dallas Cowboys, Elgin City FC is now America's Team.

But how did we get here?

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive Barcelona for knocking the most interesting goalkeeper in the world out of the Copa del Rey on Wednesday. Barcelona defeated third-tier side Linares Deportivo 2-1. Between the sticks for Linares was Ghanaian Brimah Razak.

One year ago, Razak went viral for his choice of headwear during a Copa del Rey clash with Sevilla.

Since the advent of the sport in the 1800s, England and football have been intrinsically linked. This bond started with schoolboys on muddy fields, with the objective to get the ball from one end of the field to the other by any means necessary — no rules, no limit on numbers, only brute force.

Football has now evolved into an organized game; manicured, well-lined pitches, tidy uniforms, and 11 players on each side. Kicking the opponent was outlawed and shinguards were installed should a stray boot make contact with the tibia.

It’s not easy being a single mother. It’s even harder when you’re a professional athlete. But Sydney Leroux sure makes it look easy, or at least fun.

Preseason NWSL camps are less than a month away. With that in mind, Sydney Leroux was in the backyard getting in some training this week with her 5-year-old son, Cassius, who was sporting a full Tottenham kit. Leroux, a 31-year-old Orlando Pride forward and prime Mom of the Year candidate, did what any self-respecting parent would do upon seeing their offspring wearing Spurs colors: kick a ball straight at the kid’s head.

Big news out of Copiapó, Chile today where the illegitimate love child of French football superstars Antoine Griezmann and Kylian Mbappé was found after being born on New Year's Day at 9:09 p.m. local time. Three Wise Men followed a star to his birthplace, bearing gifts of a large buyout clause, CR7 fragrance and baby-sized adidas Copa Mundials.

The best moments in rec league aren't often unbelievable goals or incredible displays of skill. They're things like batshit crazy tackles that aren't even whistled, own goals scored from the top of your own area and that 24 pack of beer in the cooler.

But all the hoofing, chasing and getting blasted in the face combine to make those rare moments of technique stick out all the clearer, like a Monet in a wastewater treatment plant.