Funny

In a turn of events that no one could've predicted, Super Bowl LVI is the closest we'll ever get to an NFL championship game between the Cincinnati Bengals and Detroit Lions (it's Matthew Stafford's Los Angeles Rams, but you can pretend it's Detroit if you want). 

Meet Topsey. 

Topsey is a funny little feline who escaped from her owners in June 2021 and has since been roaming the streets of Sheffield. Seven months after disappearing, Topsey came out of hiding on Tuesday in the form of invading a League One game between Sheffield Wednesday and Wigan.

Cat on the pitch

As a Newcastle United supporter, you might be curious (you're not) who my favorite player is. It's a tie between Allan Saint-Maximin and Joelinton. 

ASM represents everything that's beautiful about this game. He's a wizard on the dribble, capable of conjuring something out of nothing and always worth tuning in for. 

Big Joe isn't really any of those things. He's all heart, perseverance in the face of unmitigated failure and the inventor of the $54 million striker-turned-inside-midfield-destroyer position. 

FC Cologne coach Steffen Baumgart is one of the more demonstrative managers in the Bundesliga. Forced to watch Cologne’s big game against Freiburg from home while self-isolating after testing positive for Covid-19, Baumgart brought his antics from the sidelines to his own living room on Saturday. Fortunately, he had a very good doggo to keep him calm.

Cologne beat Freiburg 1-0 on Saturday to move up to sixth place, within one point of Freiburg for Europa League contention and two points back of fourth-place Union Berlin, currently clutching to the final Champions League berth.

The Campeonato Pernambucano — the state football championship of Pernambuco, Brazil — was the site of an unbelievable goal on Sunday from 21-year-old Salgueiro AC defender Lucão.

Up 1-0 shortly before halftime and facing pressure from Sete de Setembro, Lucão showed everyone that the quickest transition from defense into attack is simply an 80-yard volley from the middle of your own half that touches down inside the opponent's net. 

It's an effective way to beat the high-press that should be taught in academies across America — if Brazil's doing it, we should do it too.

After the USMNT beat Honduras 3-0 in frigid Minnesota, Christian Pulisic was visibly annoyed at having to answer questions from a Fox Sports reporter about scoring a brace when he only scored one goal (he had one disallowed by offside). He just wanted to get inside and warm up, and who can blame him when the weather was so miserable two Honduran players reportedly had to be treated for mild hypothermia.