Funny

This Video Shows How The USMNT Earned A Draw With Honduras By KICKING THE BALL REALLY HARD

If we were to compare soccer to handwriting, we would say Germany plays like Catholic nun schoolteacher handwriting, with neat little letters, nothing out of place, everything in line.

Spain plays like cursive, with little loops and swooshes you barely notice until you see the bigger object and marvel in its beauty.

Brazil plays like graffiti letters, big and colorful and saying more than the words themselves could.

This Physics-Defying Own Goal Is Like Rocket League Come To Life

When Hofstra and Maryland met last week in what was ostensibly a soccer match, no one could have guessed that the contest would actually turn into Rocket League.

But it did.

Soccer Things We Need Verrit To Verify

This weekend "Verrit" was unleashed on the Internet. Founded and run by Hillary Clinton supporters, Verrit is taking aim at the whole "fake news" thing they contend lost Clinton the 2016 Presidential Election. It is dumb.

From Gizmodo:

Dele Alli Flipped Somebody The Bird During England-Slovakia

Near the end of England's 2-1 win against Slovakia in UEFA World Cup qualifying, England's precocious and occasionally hotheaded young midfielder Dele Alli became fed-up with somebody.

Neymar And Coutinho Are Being Mean To Canarinho

You know the trick, the one where someone gets on all fours behind someone else's back, and a third someone pushes the second someone, who topples over the first someone?

Coutinho and Neymar were feeling a bit mischievous at Brazil training, so they did that trick to Brazil's giant pissed-off bird mascot, Canarinho.

This Product Promises You Abs Like Cristiano Ronaldo. And Eternal Nightmares.

I can't get this commercial out of my head. It's been around for a few years, but I hadn't seen it until last night and, well . . . 

(shudders)

I will have a tough time getting over this one. THE THINGS THESE EYES HAVE SEEN.

(shudders again)

Why does Cristiano Ronaldo have a pulsating spider on his tummy?

(shudders so hard I go into convulsions)

Financial Fair Play Not Even The Least Bit Interested In Investigating Newcastle United

Finally, a bit of good news for Newcastle United supporters around the world. After a net spend of around $26 million in the summer transfer window (or roughly one-tenth of a Neymar if you prefer), The18 can confirm that the club have steered cleared of a dreaded investigation from UEFA over financial fair play. 

This will undoubtedly bring great joy to manager Rafa Benitez, who was promised “every last penny” by owner Mike Ashley back in May and then landed Jacob Murphy from Norwich City as the club’s marquee signing. 

Miserable August Sees Colorado Hand Player Of The Month Award To A Supporters’ Group

The Colorado Rapids played five matches in the month of August, losing three, drawing two and getting outscored 9-4 in the process. The most devastating defeat took place on August 26 during MLS’s Rivalry Week. The Rapids traveled to Utah to play Real Salt Lake and got rocked, 4-1.

With 22 points from 25 matches, Colorado are the worst club in all of MLS, and the club’s horrid August was mirrored in their voting for the HealthONE Player of the Month award.

Wenger Watch Transfer Deadline Special: At Least Alexis Sanchez Is Still On The Team

Welcome to a Wenger Watch transfer deadline special, where we will come to a conclusion on Wenger IN vs. Wenger OUT based on the deadline day happenings at Arsenal. 

The deadline day happenings at Arsenal were pretty underwhelming really. Manchester CIty is all mad because they don't have Alexis Sanchez, Arsenal have Alexis Sanchez but not Thomas Lemar or Alex-Oxlade Chamberlain, who has inadvertantly become the new Banter King of Merseyside.

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