Fails

Thibaut Courtois Explains Why Goalkeepers Shouldn't Take Penalties

I have some thoughts on goalkeepers taking penalties. Goalkeepers taking penalties is a net positive from an entertainment standpoint. Goalkeepers taking penalties is a net negative, from a soccer standpoint.

Sure, there have been goalkeepers who double as penalty specialists and they are professional footballers, so they can be expected to have enough skill to score from the spot when called upon. On the other hand, hello Thibaut Courtois in the Community Shield:

The 3 Most Astonishingly Bad Penalty Kicks Ever

A spot kick. It’s from 12 yards out. You can either place it or go for power or just close your eyes and hope. Either way, the goalkeeper is at a massive disadvantage. There’s not much more to it than that. You should try to keep it simple, stupid.

But here are three instances when, for whatever reason, the penalty taker managed to get it all horribly wrong. These are the 3 worst penalties ever taken. 

The 3 Worst Penalty Kicks Ever

Watch Danny Welbeck Make The Most Absurd Assists You’ll Ever See

Some players just have a gift. The ability to see a play develop before it happens. The audacity to attempt maneuvers others wouldn’t dare to try. The composure to pull off moves with the weight of the world watching. 

Danny Welbeck, as this recent highlight video shows, is one of those supremely talented footballers who just stands above the rest.

Here's What Happens When You Stand In Front Of A Roberto Carlos Free Kick

It’s not an exaggeration to say that Roberto Carlos scored the greatest free kick ever. By extension, was he the greatest free kick specialist of all-time? Absolutely not. His ability to absolutely crush the ball into a banana curve defied logic and was rumored capable of killing a cow, but his penchant for violence over accuracy meant that many dead balls reached Row Z of Real Madrid’s Santiago Bernabeu.

Watch This Goalie's Horrible Mistake Canceled Out By A Striker's Equally Horrible Mistake

Valentin Costache did score the winner in this match for Dinamo Bucharest, so you don't have to feel too bad for him.

That said, instead of capitalizing on an epic error from Viitorul goalkeeper Arpad Tordai, Costache said "hold my beer" and made an equally bad error, thumping the ball into the post instead of into the goal.

Again, he scored the winner, so don't feel bad for him. That's a frightful mistake though.

Freddy Adu Is Now A Polish Publicity Stunt

Leave it to Sandecja Nowy Sacz coach Radoslaw Mroczkowski to produce one of the most damning statements of Freddy Adu’s absurd career.

“What is the point of having such a player?” Mroczkowski asked rhetorically. 

Ouch.

The Most Outlandish Piece Of Instinctual Finishing Ever

You can’t teach the art of goalscoring and that natural instinct to be in the right place at the right time, but what we have here is an example that transcends the art of making something out of nothing — there’s no explanation for this.

This could only be classified as an instinctual finish, but that’s underselling this goal pretty heavily. This isn’t the mark of a goalscorer, this is the mark of a madman. This goal should be investigated, brought before the FIFA Ethics Committee and either be given the All-Time Puskas Award or outlawed.

Are The Goalies At Euro 2017 Even Paying Attention?

Euro 2017 has not been kind to goalkeepers. In the group stage, we've seen this and also these. That is more than the doctor recommended amount of howlers for one international tournament. And, again, we're not even out of the group stage yet.

Turkey Coach Fatih Terim Loses Job After Mindless Fight In Kebab Shop

It’s unthinkable, really. There is absolutely no excuse for this. What kind of monster fights while doner kebabs are around? 

There are few pleasures in this world as delightful as an early morning doner kebab following a late night out. It’s impossible to devour the delicious street food without a smile on your face. Unless you’re Fatih Terim.

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