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Last week, when Europe’s top domestic leagues were taking a breather, gave us a chance to look around and see what else was happening in the world of football. And our main observartion was that all sorts of meaningless drivel suddenly became newsworthy, so desperate were the papers to fill their back pages with anything even moderately football-related.
Take David Beckham’s 723rd tattoo, which he revealed to the world by Facebooking a picture of himself eating Sushi (presumably in order to evidence his chopstick-related dexterity). This, apparently, is news.
One would have thought that the ubiquity of tattoos in football would somewhat blunt everyone’s enthusiasm for the addition of a few digits to somebody’s, err, digit, however famous. But, judging by the 166,000 likes said image has garnered, it appears we’re in the minority on this one.
So, having never knowingly missed a passing bandwagon, The18 dutifully brings you the lowdown on the most villainous footballer tats you’ll ever have the misfortune to endure.
Not footballer’s tattoos, you understand. Lord no. Below are tattoos of footballers, writ large on the flesh of overly exuberant (or excessively drunk) fans. Feast your eyes.
Neymar
We’re led to believe that the owner of this Neymar “portrait” is a patron of Brazil’s National Society for the Promotion of Blind Tattoo Artists. At least, that’s the only rational explanation we can muster without resorting to psychotropic drugs.
(Photo:@MeganSearson | Twitter)
Luis Suarez
It’s rare that a mask makes a footballer’s face easier to identify.
(Photo:@br_uk | Twitter)
Paul Scholes
Undoubtedly one of the finest midfielders of his generation, but we question why anyone would want Paul Scholes’ Chevy Chase on their forearm.
Wayne Rooney
Really not a bad effort at all, except for the fact that this Rooney tattoo belongs to a Manchester CITY fan.
This is embarassing. (Photo:@CFCGyan | Twitter)
Leo Messi (and his Mom)
We’re actually quite impressed by the imprinted Messi jersey on this guy's back.
(Photo:@PenyaIndoBarca | Twitter(
Messi has a tattoo of his son's footprint on his left calf and an illustration of his mother on his back.
(Photo:@JordyAlbaa | Twitter)(Photo:@JordyAlbaa | Twitter)
Louis van Gaal
Given the magnificent scale of his ego, it’s only the diving presence of Robin van Persie that convinces us this isn’t Louis van Gaal’s own back.
(Photo:@VindiTweets | Twitter)
Frank Lampard and John Terry
With such a pristine canvas to work upon, this fleshy Mount Rushmore in-the-making is clearly destined to be a masterpiece.
(Photo:@Charles_Ben_W | twitter)
Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard
If, in the dark recesses of your psyche, you ever wonder what Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard would have looked like in 480BC Sparta, now you know. The skeletal-looking chap in the background is apparently Rafa Benitez.
(Photo:Whoateallthepies)
Clint Dempsey
Words simply fail us.
(Photo:@SergeantScary | Twitter)
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