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Drunken Englishmen have developed a certain reputation for unruly fan behavior, and Nottingham Forest fan Liam Fryer proved solidified that reputation by receiving a three-year ban from matches for allegedly biting a security guard in the crotch. We, as noted American humorist Dave Barry would say, are not making this up.
Here's a fun snippet from the Nottingam Post:
As the second officer knelt close to Fryer's head, he felt "a sharp pain" and shouted: "He is biting my bollocks."
Fryer retorted: "I am going to get you. You are a liar. I didn't bite you."
At his trial, JPs decided Fryer had assaulted the officer "recklessly, not intentionally". A photograph showed "a red mark on the upper part of the inner thigh" but it could not be proved it was a bite.
Nigel Dicks, defending, said the first guard was trying to eject Fryer's friend, who was only trying to reach a first aid post to get treatment for a dislocated shoulder.
Wait the defense lawyer for the man who supposedly bit another man in the gentleman's region's name is Nigel Dicks? You couldn't make this up. Certainly the other lawyer in the case doesn't have a name that could be construes as referring to a phallus, right? That would just be too much. Here's another snippet from the Nottingham Post:
Rod Chapman, prosecuting, said the incident began when a security man was trying to eject another supporter for "inappropriate behaviour".
NO.
To recap: a man received a three-year match ban for allegedly biting another man in the crotch after a trial that was prosecuted by a man named "Rod" and defended by a man named "Dicks."
God save the Queen.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
