Error message

  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\HandlerList::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 32 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/HandlerList.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Api\AbstractModel::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Api/AbstractModel.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Endpoint\Partition::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 13 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Endpoint/Partition.php).
  • Deprecated function: Aws\Credentials\Credentials implements the Serializable interface, which is deprecated. Implement __serialize() and __unserialize() instead (or in addition, if support for old PHP versions is necessary) in include() (line 8 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Credentials/Credentials.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Command::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Command::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 7 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Command.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of & Aws\Result::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::getIterator() should either be compatible with IteratorAggregate::getIterator(): Traversable, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Deprecated function: Return type of Aws\Result::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in include() (line 9 of /var/www/html/vendor/aws/aws-sdk-php/src/Result.php).
  • Warning: Undefined array key "nid" in views_handler_field_term_node_tid->pre_render() (line 98 of /var/www/html/docroot/sites/all/modules/views/modules/taxonomy/views_handler_field_term_node_tid.inc).
  • Warning: Undefined array key "nid" in views_handler_field_term_node_tid->pre_render() (line 98 of /var/www/html/docroot/sites/all/modules/views/modules/taxonomy/views_handler_field_term_node_tid.inc).
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Skinny Striker Suspended For Eating Tasty Sandwich During Match

By Travis Yoesting December 22, 2017
Featured Image
Croquette-gate is much tastier than pie-gate.
@aproponews | Twitter

Wayne Shaw and pie-gate, eat your heart out. Michiel Kramer and croquette-gate are the new flavor of the month for food-related football bans. 

Kramer, a decent 29-year-old striker for Feyenoord, was on the substitute’s bench for a cup match against SC Heracles Almelo on Thursday when cameras caught him snacking on a delicious-looking croquette. Manager Giovanni van Bronckhorst did not take kindly to this impudent action and suspended Kramer for Sunday’s league match against Roda JC Kerkrade. 

It’s hard to blame Kramer for croquette-gate. Dutch kroketten are delectable, far superior to British pies. (To be fair, just about everything is better than any food or drink in England.) If offered one right now but told I’d be suspended from work if I ate it, I’d probably still eat it. 

Croquette-gate

Croquette-gate. Photo: @ipeadia | Twitter

But one does not fuck with van Bronckhorst. The Feyenoord coach was once a brilliant player with Arsenal, Barcelona and Feyenoord and scored one of the best World Cup goals of all time in a 3-2 semifinal win over Uruguay in 2010.

Wayne Shaw received a much stiffer punishment for pie-gate, earning a two-month ban (he didn’t have a team anyway) and a $489 fine for eating a pie in a cup match against Arsenal last season. Part of this was because he purposefully ate the pie after a British bookmaker offered odds on the corpulent keeper doing so during the match. 

Kramer, a lanky, 6-5 forward rated 72 in FIFA, also received an undisclosed fine, but his ban of just one match makes me think it was probably worth it to scarf down that breaded beauty. 

While it’s funny to make fun of an overweight goalie eating something the British call a pie, I empathize with a skinny striker eating a croquette. Van Bronckhorst probably just handed down the ban because he was jealous he wasn’t offered a bite. 

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