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Hey all you cool cats and kittens, Tiger King has been the talk of quarantine — it's so cringeworthy that you can’t stop watching. It's a Netflix documentary that was supposed to expose the exotic animal trade and cruel treatment, but it had way more than just cat talk. From relationships to feuds and crime to exotic animals, Tiger King has it all.
If, for some odd reason, the cast had to be put into a football match, here's who I would name to my starting XI:
Goalkeeper: Rick Kirkham — Producer of Joe Exotic T.V. and directed what should be filmed to portray Joe Exotic as the Tiger King. Definitely an organizer and makes sure everyone is in the correct position.
Left Back: Allen Glover — He spent a few years in prison and is scary looking and always gets the job done.
Center Back: John Reinke — Manager at the G.W. Zoo who organizes and makes sure everyone is doing what they need to in order to be successful.
Center Back: John Finlay — Was married to Joe Exotic and just seems like he would scare people away from goal.
Right Back: Marc Thompson — Security guard and knows how to protect and attack when needed.
Right Center Midfield: Carole Baskin — A key player. I am convinced she killed her husband and fed him to the tigers, but she continues to deny it.
Left Center Midfield: Joe Exotic — Another key player. Also known as the “Tiger King”, owner of the G.W. Zoo and wants Carole Baskin dead. He may not literally be an attacker since he wants other people to finish the job, but he has an attacking mindset.
Defensive Midfield: James Garretson — Invests in the zoo and has a lot of money. He revealed information about Joe Exotic to help get him arrested, but was more behind the scenes.
Left Wing: Kelci Saffery — She may have one arm because she got it bit off by a tiger on a Monday but was back at work on Friday, so she seems reliable to control the wing.
Striker: Jeff Lowe — He is a smart yet sneaky man who knows how to strategize on the fly. Definitely ties a lot of the characters together and helps plot a plan to bring down Joe Exotic.
Right Wing: Howard Baskin — Married to Carole Baskin and is always strangely calm even in intense situations.
These are just XI characters that would make for an interesting football team and would probably get plenty of red cards. So who do you have in your starting XI?
