Batten down the hatches, because I am about to unleash the takestorm to end all takestorms.
Arsenal are in trouble. This much is obvious. They just conceded six unanswered goals to Manchester City in 180 minutes of competition. Manchester City are very good, granted, but Arsenal are one of the biggest, richest clubs in Europe. Arsenal have lost more matches in all competitions (seven) than any other Premier League club in 2018.
This is unacceptable. Clearly, something needs to change, but what? What could possibly whip this group of talented, but seemingly lacking in motivation, footballers into shape? There is only one answer to that question. There is only one man for the job. Arsenal need a man with loads of experience, who knows the club's history and who has gone an entire Premier League season without being beaten. Arsenal need a hero.
Arsenal need Arsene Wenger. Now more than ever. No, not to resign. To coach the soccer.
SET THE WENGER-O-METER TO "IN" AND THE FACEBOOK-COMMENTERS-UNDERSTANDING-SARCASM-O-METER TO "ABSOLUTELY NOT." It's lit.
Keeping Arsene Wenger is so crazy it just might work. It is crazy, though . . . crazy LIKE A FOX. The rest of the Premier League, and indeed Europe, will never see it coming.
Arsenal's true savior has been here all along. Trust me.
Update: Arsene Wenger agrees with me.
Wenger: "I felt it was a game of top physical intensity and we produced physically our highest performance of the season." #AFC
— Jack Rosser (@JackRosser_) March 1, 2018