It's the Fourth of July and America is awesome, so we put together this list of 10 times footballers honored America on Instagram. They may not have known they were honoring America at the time, but that's beside the point.
Clint Dempsey has a big ol' truck.
Clint Dempsey is from Texas. There is a law in Texas that states you must have a big ol' truck otherwise you're not allowed to be from Texas. Clint Dempsey is from Texas.
Tim Howard's ATV might be worth more than Clint Dempsey's truck.
WHY WOULD YOU PUT RIMS ON AN ATV? WHY??
"Why not" would be the answer to that question.
Matt Besler is on a tractor for some reason.
Kansas is one of the 50 United States of America and I'm not real sure why.
Steven Gerrard went to Disneyland.
We can only assume Stevie is at the Disneyland in Los Angeles and not the Disneyland in Paris. We'll let Robin Williams handle our thoughts on the Disneyland in Paris.
Neymar went on a boat.
You might think there isn't anything American about Neymar. You would be wrong. Neymar has a favorite pastime that he shares with every true American and that is unnecessarily going on boats. Boats are great. I went on a boat last weekend and it was awesome. There was no reason for me to go on this boat except for I wanted to. This is how Neymar approaches boats and I respect the hell out of him for it.
(other footballers who enjoy unnecessarily going on boats: all of them)
Andrea Pirlo had a cookout.
We discussed Andrea Pirlo's grill usage earlier. Moving on.
Alan Gordon also had a cookout.
But, like, a way more American cookout. Alan Gordon's had Bud Light.
Dani Alves did this:
Forget baseball. Finding creative ways to open a beer is the real national pastime.
Alberto Moreno made his dog pull him on a hoverboard.
The dog reveal at the end is the best.
THIS.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put on the theme song from "Rudy" and run through a brick wall. USA! USA! USA!
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus