Off the Pitch

Peru’s Paolo Guerrero Tries To Be Maradona, Gets Banned For World Cup

Paolo Guerrero thought he could be Diego Maradona. Now Peru’s captain and all-time leading goal scorer will be suspended for the country’s first World Cup in 36 years. FIFA handed down a 12-month ban to Guerrero for testing positive for a banned stimulant following a CONMEBOL World Cup qualifier, football’s world governing body announced Thursday.

Jonas Brother Takes Stand At FIFA Corruption Trial … Wait What?

No one ever said the FIFA corruption trials would be normal. But I don’t think anyone expected this bizarre turn of events. Kevin Jonas was called to the stand to testify for the prosecution during the ongoing court case on Thursday at a U.S. Federal Court in Brooklyn. 

Peruvian Striker Claudio Pizarro Has Voiceover Role In German Version Of Pixar’s ‘Coco’

A Cologne striker has finally scored — a role in a new movie. Peruvian Claudio Pizarro voices a character in the German-language version of the new animated Pixar film “Coco,” which is out now in a Kino near you (assuming you live in Germany). 

Pizarro is an old man nearing the end of his career on the pitch. He may have found a new calling with his voiceover role in “Coco,” which is about a young Mexican boy who is transported to the Land of the Dead during Día de los Muertos. The 39-year-old voices a skeleton who desperately wants to watch a soccer match.

Romelu Lukaku Doesn’t Need Belgian Prime Minister To Avoid American Jail

Sports stars just get all the luck, don’t they? First the UCLA basketball players get bailed out of a Chinese jail after shoplifting, not Romelu Lukaku is avoiding jail time in another foreign country: the United States.

The Belgian striker will pay a $450 fine to avoid potentially six months in jail stemming from a series of noise complaints while staying in Beverly Hills over the summer. 

The FIFA Corruption Trials Are Playing Out Like An Episode Of Sopranos

We’re entering the second week of FIFA corruption trials for three men in New York City and already the court cases are providing more entertainment than an HBO series. The FIFA scandal keeps getting weirder, and that’s not really a good thing for fans of the game, but it’s great for fans of an interesting narrative. 

Is This The Most Cristiano Ronaldo Quote Of All Time?

Cristiano Ronaldo has long since transcended being a simple football player. His dominance on the pitch is matched only by his character off it, shilling everything from fleece blankets to camo underwear

These Are The Best Soccer-Themed Halloween Videos

Hey, it’s Halloween! Aside from tooth decay induced by copious amounts of sugar-loaded candy, that means all your favorite soccer teams are releasing spooky and/or goofy Halloween videos. Horray! We here at The18 have done the hard work of rounding up the best soccer Halloween videos from this week, so grab some bite-sized candy bars and enjoy. 

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