Outrageous

Is this what Europeans think of the United States’ favorite sport? Andres Iniesta starred in a recent commercial in which he donned the shoulder pads and masked helmet of an American football player in a ploy to, um, get viewers to trade stocks? Or something? Not really sure. But the ad’s portrayal of Iniesta’s new sport is an interesting glimpse into how Europeans must view American football.

Ever wondered how defenders in the 60s and 70s coped with Pelé, perhaps the greatest player of all time? Defending Pelé was really quite simple: They kicked the sh*t out of him. And pushed him around. And threw him to the ground. And kicked him a few dozen more times.

Pelé scored 767 goals over his storied career but he would have had more were it not for the physical play of defenders who quickly realized the only hope they had to stop Pelé was to foul him. 

Aleksandr Kokorin is too good a player to miss like this, but it could be argued that EVERY professional soccer player is too good a player to miss like this.

Kokorin is a Russian international and has played in Russia his whole professional career, so I would like to apologize in advance for the following joke, which as a professional soccer blogger I am contractually obligated to make:

You might say he missed the . . .

 . . . 

 . . . 

nyet.