MLS

Steven Gerrard would like for you to stay in school, because you probably won't make it as a professional footballer. 

No doubt soccer is a growing game in the United States. Major League Soccer has invested all sorts of resources in building its league into something that can compete with other major professional sports and, more importantly, be respected in comparison to the other top soccer leagues in the world.

MLS fans have been ramping up the hooliganism lately, mostly in the New York/New Jersey area. This is not in itself surprising, as hooliganism emanates naturally from the New York/New Jersey area.

What is surprising, however is that one of New York's finest deployed a stun gun on a New York City FC fan outside a NYCFC game at Yankee Stadium. It's not entirely clear what the fan did to deserve having thousands of volts of electricity pulse through his body, but it must have been really bad, considering what New York City cops have to deal with on a daily basis. 

Cubo Torres wreaked holy havoc upon the MLS when he played for Chivas USA in 2014. He scored 22 goals in 44 games before the club folded and the Houston Dynamo acquired him that same year. 

Torres started his first game in a Dynamo shirt on August 29, and got 66 minutes of game time and an assist. He's only appeared in seven games for the Dynamo thus far, and has yet to score.

So what happened? Erick "Cubo" Torres is only 22-years-old, but his career has already seen enough ups and downs to call him a veteran.

It must be difficult balancing two first teams — a men's team and a women's team — under the umbrella of the same club, but that's what the Portland Timbers and Thorns, and their various associate personnel, have to do to make their business work.

16 thousand people crowded into Dick’s Sporting Goods park to watch the Colorado Rapids beat Sporting Kansas City in what some are calling the Rapids’ best home game of the year. Though, the result was not always secure. 

After a scoreless first half, things took a turn for the worse when Sporting’s Dom Dwyer scored from close range just two minutes into the second. But, the Rapids responded. 

Alan Gordon has a reputation for goals falling into his lap, but this is ridiculous. 

Miskick + nutmeg = goalkeeper nightmare. LA Galaxy up 2-0 on Comunicaciones on FS2. #SCCL #MLS http://t.co/WrTz2w4iwW

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) August 19, 2015

Cristiano Ronaldo is one step closer to coming to America. In fact, he technically lives here. Well, he owns a place that he could theoretically live in and that place is located in the United States. 

The New York Post reported that Ronaldo has purchased an $18.5 million apartment in the Trump Towers in New York. 

This has, obviously, fueled speculation that Ronaldo will move to the United States to play in MLS when his Real Madrid contract is up in 2018. 

This past weekend in MLS saw two of the biggest clubs take each other head on as Orlando City flew to CenturyLink Stadium. The Seattle Sounders put four goals past Orlando in a fantastic turn of events for Seattle after missing a first half penalty kick.

After taking a closer look at the match and trying to figure out how Kaka and his team could concede so many goals we may have found the real reason for Orlando’s defeat. 

Giovani dos Santos is not good at throwing baseballs. This is demonstrated by his attempt at throwing out the first pitch at a recent Los Angeles Dodgers game. 

.@OficialGio. He's really good at soccer. pic.twitter.com/ZHe5ogdxA4

— Los Angeles Dodgers (@Dodgers) August 11, 2015