Humor

Alberto Moreno's New Tattoos, Ranked

Alberto Moreno got some new tattoos. The man is running out of places on his body to put them, but he found a way. They are very nice tattoos. One is of a tiger wearing a bandana. One is of a panda wearing a monocle. One is of a dog wearing bocing gloves. They are all winners.

Soccer Is Boring

Look, I think it's time we addressed the elephant in the room, the truth we all know but can't bring ourselves to admit, the monster hiding under the bed of our fandom.

Soccer is boring.

15 Footballers Who Look Like Animals

Have you ever been told you look familiar? Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? Join the club, because it happens to the best of us. It’s common for people to look like a famous celebrity or someone’s long-lost cousin. But have you ever been told you look like an animal? It’s not something you hear often, but it's also not the most ridiculous comparison since we are animals after all! Take a look at 15 footballers that channel something other than human.

Mamadou Sakho Will Crunch Absolutely Anyone He Finds Threatening

After his trials and tribulations at Liverpool, Mamadou Sakho has been granted a new lease on life at Crystal Palace. He’s playing like a madman, helping Palace to two straight wins, two clean sheets and a rise out of the relegation zone. 

Sakho is clearing anything and cleaning out anyone that comes his way. Just look at this from the Frenchman. 

Sakho takes off on a Beckenbauer-esque run after taking the ball off his own teammate. He knows he’s in a blind alley, so he turns and side foots it backwards.

You've Been Pronouncing MLS Team Names Wrong Since Day One

We here in soccer media are very stupid. Much of the time, we don't even know how to properly stylize the names of the teams we're writing about!

Luckily, the MLS has come out with a handy style guide for urchin media members such as ourselves who keep writing MLS team names in non-MLS-approved stylizations. This is a thing that the world definitely needed, and you can read the whole thing here. 

This Kid Nutmegged His Baby Sister And It Was Glorious

This my friends is the nutmeg to end all nutmegs. Instagram account @jay172009 posted this gem a couple days ago. It not only incapsulates the definition of a nutmeg, but it also perfectly shows how savage a sibling rivalry can be.

Keep your head on a swivel, folks. You never know when a nutmeg is a couple steps away.

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