Humor

A Terrifying Look Inside Arsenal’s Virtual Reality Training Techniques

Arsene Wenger has a process, a recipe if you will, for how he wants things done. In an effort to reach his young charges, the venerable, white-haired Professor has created a training simulation using virtual reality to turn raw ingredients into mouthwatering fare. 

Here’s a taste of what he’s cooked up: 

It’s a bit frightening, but that’s the point. Arsenal players must toughen up, with a crispy outer layer of seasoning and experience. 

Jurgen Klopp Tells Simon Mignolet Not To Worry About That Handsome Other Guy

Simon Mignolet is a solid guy. The 29-year-old Belgian shot-stopper isn’t renowned for his incredible reflexes, an impeccable command of his area or world-class distribution, but he’s pretty dependable. “He is solid, he is like a machine. You can always rely on him,” says Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp.

Wenger Watch: Hey Liverpool! Hey Liverpool!

Arsenal's 4-0 defeat at the hands of Liverpool Sunday has had Arsenal fans' heads spinning around like they've been possessed by demons. And those demons want Arsene Wenger to be fired.

Scottish Premiership Keeper Appears To Mentally Fall Into A Black Hole

30-year-old Ross County goalkeeper Scott Fox committed one of the strangest howlers you’ll see all season during his side’s defeat to Rangers in the Scottish Premiership over the weekend. 

A poor back pass invited pressure on Fox, but the experienced keeper displayed some great footwork to evade the challenge and create some space for himself. But in the four seconds to follow, Fox appears to suffer from a severe brian fart — a brain shart or even brain diarrhea. 

Cristiano Ronaldo's Life Is Basically An Alexandre Dumas Novel

Cristiano Ronaldo has been WRONGED. By the SYSTEM. Cruelly banished from four La Liga matches for the minor offense of pushing a referee, Ronaldo will not allow himself to be broken so easily.

Ronaldo tweeted his displeasure at his UNFAIR sentence.

Watch This Sheep Perfectly Demonstrate How To Shut Down A Counterattack

Counterattack mitigation is probably the most important skill in any defensive midfielder's arsenal. Often tasked with protecting a vulnerable back line, elite defensive midfielders must get their spacing and decision-making correct every time.

This Free Kick Makes It Painfully Clear How Important A Good Wall Is

FK Sloboda is a football club and not in the construction business. This was apparent Sunday when building a wall to defend a free kick against HŠK Zrinjski in the Premier League of Bosnia & Herzegovina.

Thanks to state-of-the-art microphone technology, we were able to pick up on the conversation that went on as Sloboda planned out its strategy.

“Everybody listen up. I have the best plan, the greatest plan, a better plan than any of the tacticians in Italy or England could think up.”

“OK skipper, what have you got in mind for defending this free kick?”

Notts County’s Matt Tootle Just Wants To Know Why They Never Play Nightcrawlers Anymore

Notts County scores. Darkness falls and magic stirs as Matt Tootle becomes a creature of the night — a nightcrawler! But it looks like it’s time for an intervention with the rest of his teammates, because they just don’t look interested in joining Tootle for a quick game.

Nightcrawlers is just what it sounds like, it’s a game where you crawl around like worms in the night, mining minerals under the bed while using your imagination. Tootle clearly knows what’s up. 

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