Goals

Watch Radamel Falcao Hit A Long-Range Stunner Like He Doesn't Even Care

Radamel Falcao clearly woke up this morning and decided he was done with everyone.

Done.

That's it. Finished.

In the 85th minute of Monaco's match against Caen Tuesday, Falcao plum ran out of fucks to give. He had also exhausted his backup supply of fucks.

Falcao looked like he was about to lay it off safely to a teammate like a good little target man but changed his mind at the last moment, said "screw it" and let fly with a beauty.

Before Messi Was Abusing Defenders, He Was Abusing Extremely Confused Defenders

Lionel Messi was never a little-known quantity. When he scored nearly 500 goals for Newell’s Old Boys as a young boy, people took notice. That’s why Barcelona made the highly unusual decision to sign a 13-year-old foreign player. That’s why, aged 17 years, three months and 22 days, he became Barcelona’s youngest-ever representative in an official competition. It’s why he represented La Albiceleste, the two-time world champions, at 18.

Which Was Better, Bristol City Goal Or The Accompanying Goal GIF?

We here at The18 do not like goal GIFs. OK, maybe we like some of them. But mostly, we don’t like them. We, like you, have been burned too many times on Twitter, expecting to see a great replay of a goal only to get a stupid GIF merely telling us what we already knew, that soandso scored for suchandsuch team.

Cristiano Ronaldo Shows Off Fifth Ballon d’Or, Scores A Brace

A meeting between third and fifth in La Liga turned into a rout inside the first half with Real Madrid racing to a 5-0 lead on Sevilla inside the match’s opening 42 minutes. Nacho got the first, Cristiano Ronaldo added a brace on the day his fifth Ballon d’Or trophy was presented to the Bernabeu crowd, Toni Kroos struck the fourth and 19-year-old Achraf Hakimi scored his first La Liga goal for the club.

Altidore, Giovinco And Bradley Inspire Toronto FC To MLS Cup 2017

Toronto FC avenged their 2016 final defeat to Seattle by defeating the Sounders in a rematch at MLS Cup 2017, 2-0. Jozy Altidore scored the game-winning goal in the 67th minute off a Sebastian Giovinco through ball, and Toronto’s historic Supporters’ Shield season was given the famous ending it deserved. 

In the fourth-minute of second half stoppage time, Victor Vazquez added Toronto’s second, capping a sensational first season for the Spaniard in MLS. 

Leicester Defeat Newcastle 3-2 After Pretty Terrific 85th Minute Own Goal

For the neutral, there’s no better scoreline in football than 3-2. Goals, end-to-end action and drama are all promised in such an outcome, and Leicester City’s thrilling 3-2 victory over Newcastle United delivered Saturday.

On the 125th anniversary of Newcastle’s founding, Joselu brought the 52,000-strong audience to its feet by opening the scoring following some great work by Dwight Gayle. 

35-Year-Old Jermain Defoe Scores The Goal Of A True Master

Let’s get straight to it. You’ve seen a goal like this before; it’s definitely Marco van Basten-esque. Seasoned Bournemouth striker Jermain Defoe utilized nearly 20 years of professional experience to produce the work of a master goalscorer on Saturday, hitting this instinctive but technically perfect half-volley against Crystal Palace in Premier League play.

Chelsea's Title Defense Crushed By Moyes’ Boys

Matchweek 16 of the English Premier League kicked off Saturday morning with relegation candidates West Ham shocking defending champions Chelsea 1-0 at the London Stadium. David Moyes’ first victory as Hammers boss was secured by Marko Arnautovic, the $27 million man who’d yet to score following his summer move from Stoke City. 

But Moyes suddenly seems like the right man for the job with Arnautovic finding net and West Ham climbing to 18th in the table, with just their horrific goal difference of minus 18 keeping them from safety. 

Darwin Machís Spurs Evolution Forward With Thrilling Solo Goal

Evolution does not stand still, unlike these Almeria defenders. Evolution moves inexorably forward, like Granada’s Darwin Machís. In a Spanish Segunda División match on Friday, Machís showed the next step forward in evolution with a thrilling solo goal.

Machís fooled one defender, took a ride on the HMS Beagle for about 20 yards and curled in a beautiful finish to double Granada’s lead early in the second half against Almeria, the goal nestling into the back of the net by the width of a finch beak.

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