Goals

Valencia eased into the Copa del Rey quarterfinals with a 4-0 victory over Las Palmas at the Mestalla on Tuesday, the Cup match playing out entirely like La Liga’s third-place side going up against the club in 20th. Valencia’s Luciano Vietto, who’s on loan at Los Che from Atletico Madrid, scored an amazing hat-trick of ever-increasing quality to lead the way.

The 24-year-old Argentinian gave Valencia a 1-0 advantage (2-1 on aggregate) in the 30th minute with a side-footed finish on the rebound after Simone Zaza’s header was miraculously saved by Raul Lizoain. 

American-born defender Eric Lichaj had a deal with his wife: Score a hat trick and she will finally let him get a dog. The Nottingham Forest defender came oh so close to scoring a hat trick against Arsenal during the FA Cup on Sunday. After Lichaj asked Twitter to bombard his wife with dog memes, she caved. Eric Lichaj finally has a dog. 

After scoring 226 goals in a sensational eighty-year stint with Arsenal from 1999 to 2007, Thierry Henry’s sale to Barcelona was seemingly the end of the Frenchman’s legendary time with the Gunners. Five years later, after a period with Barcelona and currently on the books with Major League Soccer’s New York Red Bulls, Henry romantically returned to his beloved club on a two-month loan deal.

A trip to the Balaidos in Galicia is never tepid waters — Barcelona were made to weather their own storm in the northwest of the Iberian Peninsula on Thursday in a frantic 1-1 Copa del Rey Round of 16 draw — and Celta Vigo again showcased their formidable home fortress in a 2-2 La Liga draw with Real Madrid on Sunday. 

In the end, it’s all shock and horror for Arsene Wenger and Arsenal FC. Their 4-2 defeat to Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup on Sunday means it’s the first time since Wenger became Arsenal’s manager that they’ve failed to progress past the third round — a record of 21 straight seasons that’s now over. Forest are also the first team from a lower division to score four or more goals against Arsenal in the FA Cup since 1908. 

Philippe Coutinho is coming, but before the Little Magician is able to impact his new side, Barcelona neatly summarized their 2017-18 season so far with a 3-0 victory over Levante that oozed class all around the pitch. The Camp Nou was witness to three beautiful goals on the day, one from Lionel Messi, another from Luis Suarez and the final from Paulinho off a mesmerizing Messi assist.

If you take your eyes off Manchester City, if you relax for just a moment, they will absolutely destroy you. Burnley learned that the hard way in the FA Cup third round. After the visitors took a surprise first-half lead, Manchester City punished them for a short lapse in concentration with Sergio Aguero scoring two goals in two minutes to turn a halftime deficit into a second-half lead on the way to a 4-1 victory on Saturday at the Etihad.