Goals

Vinicius Jr Hits A Screamer But Then Gets Eaten Alive From The Top Down

18-year-old Brazilian wunderkind Vinícius Júnior appeared in his second match for Real Madrid Castilla (Real’s reserve team) against Atletico Madrid B today. The Madrid Derby in Segunda División B (Spain’s third division) ended in a 2-2 draw with Vinícius Jr at the center of everything for Real, scoring a brace while also getting his head munched on by Atletico captain Alberto Rodriguez.

DeAndre Yedlin Smashes Home First Premier League Goal To Equalize Vs. Manchester City

With the retirement of Clint Dempsey earlier this week, the USMNT lost a legend, the greatest goal scorer the country has ever seen (on the men’s side, at least). So one of the few Americans left in the Premier League decided to pay homage to the Texan, as seen with this wonderful DeAndre Yedlin goal vs Manchester City on Saturday. 

Fulham Celebrates Clint Dempsey With A Montage Of His Greatest EPL Goals

Things started inconspicuously enough for Clint Dempsey following his $4 million January move from New England to Fulham back in 2006. However, the slow start was entirely forgiven when the 22-year-old bundled home his first goal for the club (the first strike in the video above) against Liverpool at the tail end of the season. The goal was momentous, saving the club from relegation and guaranteeing its place in the top flight for the 2007-08 season.

PSV Eases Into Champions League Thanks To Another Chucky Lozano Banger

After breaking through in monster fashion last season, Hirving “Chucky” Lozano somehow looks destined for even bigger and better things during his sophomore year in Europe. The 23-year-old Mexican winger already has two goals in three Eredivisie appearances, and now his two goals — including one today — in PSV’s 6-2 aggregate win over BATE Borisov have ensured the club’s participation in the 2018-19 Champions League group stage. 

Chicharito Scores First Of The Season But Also Gets Blasted For Diving

It’s been a rough start for new boss Manuel Pellegrini and West Ham in the Premier League, where the club has opened the new campaign with three consecutive defeats, but the Hammers took a positive step forward by beating League One side AFC Wimbledon in the second round of the EFL Cup Tuesday.

Maybe It’s Time We Start Paying Attention To Young U.S. Winger Romain Gall

Not since Clint Dempsey and Brian McBride were in the Premier League have American forwards been playing — and scoring — at the top levels of Europe at a rate they are now. 

Christian Pulisic at Borussia Dortmund and Timothy Weah at PSG are two of the more prominent examples, but Josh Sargent is off to a strong start with Werder Bremen 2 and a pair of USMNT defenders scored in the Bundesliga over the weekend. 

Xavi Turns Back The Clock With A Breathtaking Assist In The Asian Champions League

We’ll be honest, we’re not entirely sure how things are going for Xavi in Qatar with Al Sadd. What we do know is that the 38-year-old captured his first major piece of silverware with the club last season in the form of the Qatar Cup, and he registered a hugely respectable total of 10 goals in 26 league appearances (although his club finished runner-up to Al-Duhail).

Same Old Boring Spurs Players Humiliate Manchester United At Old Trafford

Tottenham’s position as the target of the Meme Lords soccersplaining fury came to an end today following a stirring 3-0 victory over Manchester United at Old Trafford. The internet will now turn its collective fury at Jose Mourinho, who — surprisingly for a 55-year-old and two-time Champions League winner — seems to be genuinely affected by the treatment he’s receiving from various hacks and the Twittersphere.  

Sorry Alex Morgan, Sam Kerr Is Far And Away The World’s Best Striker

As highlighted by her win at the 2018 ESPY Awards in the category of Best International Women’s Soccer Player, no one in the women’s game comes close to matching to consistent brilliance of Australia and Chicago Red Stars forward Sam Kerr

Gareth Bale’s Real Madrid Rolls To The Top Of LaLiga With Classy Performance

We’re only two matches into the LaLiga season and Real Madrid’s only registered wins against the sides that finished in eighth and 10th last year, but the unprovable, platitudinous cliches are already being thrown at Real: “This side plays better as a team without Cristiano Ronaldo!” and “Gareth Bale is emerging from Ronaldo’s shadow!”  

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