Funny

Real Offered €50 Million For David Alaba, Then He Went And Did This

Reports have been flying around that Real Madrid have seen a €50 million offer for fullback David Alaba rebuffed by Bayern Munich. Apparently, that monumental figure was enough to throw the Austrian off his game because he just did this in a friendly for Austria against Malta. 

Pepe's Soul Has Been Dropped From Portugal's Euro 2016 Squad

Multiple reports have confirmed that Portugal and Real Madrid defender Pepe has had his soul dropped from Portugal’s 23-man Euro 2016 squad. Following the events of the Champions League final at the San Siro Stadium in Milan, it's been suggested that Pepe's conscience spirit has deserted him. 

While the defender will be representing Portugal at Euro 2016 in body, it's anyone's guess as to where his soul might currently reside. 

Neymar's Wax Statue Might Be A Depraved, Vile Monster

When former Marine Jake Sully first entered his Na’vi-human hybrid in the 2009 sci-fi film Avatar, he couldn’t control his excitement — he delighted in his newfound athleticism while embracing the pastoral beauty of the planet Pandora. It was a scientific breakthrough, the likes of which hadn't been replicated up until yesterday. Yesterday, Neymar had his own Jake Sully moment.

Some Drunk Referees Tried To Officiate A Match While They Could Hardly Stand

Today in How You Know You’ve Hit Rock Bottom, we have match officials Marek Pilny and Jiri Jech from the Czech First League. 

Pilny and Jech decided it was a good idea to show up stumbling drunk to FK Pribram vs Slavia Prague, a match they were supposed to officiate.

You may be asking yourself: how are you supposed to keep a match in line if you cannot walk in a straight line? This, it appears, was a riddle Pilny and Jech were intent on solving the hard way:

Claudio Ranieri Look-Alike Claims To Have Bedded 26 Women Due To Leicester Title

Alan Ashcroft is an unemployed electrician who looks a lot like Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, according to British "newspaper" Sunday Sport. Thanks to this resemblance, Ashcroft claims he has been able to sleep with 26 women since Leicester won the Premier League title. 

Reportedly Ashcroft, who was born in Scotland, settled in one of the rooms at the Travelodge Hotel in Leicester two weeks ago. Since then, he says, 26 women have passed through his bed thinking he was Claudio Ranieri.

Spurs Crumble And Finish Behind Arsenal For The 21st Consecutive Season

I hope Tottenham fans are also Chance the Rapper fans because they are going to need some serious feel good music in order to get over what has just happened to their team. After being 5 points clear of Arsenal with 3 games left to play, they have finished below Arsenal in the Premier League for the 21st consecutive season. 

Spanish Team Unveils THIS. Could It Be The Ugliest Jersey Of All Time?

Spanish fourth-division side C.D. Palencia just unveiled their new uniform, and trust us when we say it includes the ugliest jersey of all time.

Don't trust us? Have a look for yourself:

German Airline Lufthansa Kind Of Mocked English Fans And It Was Great

Deutschland! The land of beer, sausages, and athletes that are pretty much machines. It's also home to the defending World Cup champions and the bitter rival to England, so you could see why a Three Lions fan would be a little hesitant to fly with German airline Lufthansa. 

But the airline set out to show that even English fans can fly with them, and that it won't be a miserable experience. Sure, there may be some passengers that will boast about their 4 World Cup championships, but it could be worse.

MLS Humanitarian of the Year Suspended For On-Field Fight With Teammate

Kei Kamara has a resume that Pope Francis would applaud. He was awarded the MLS Fair Play Award in 2007, and, last year, Kamara was given the distinction of MLS Works Humanitarian of the Year. Kamara has been active in working for peace in his native war-torn Sierra Leone, but on Saturday, he was the guilty party in a conflict with his own teammate, Federico Higuain.

Kamara’s Columbus Crew were leading the Montreal Impact 3-1 in the 51st minute. After a foul by Montreal in the penalty area, Columbus were awarded a penalty with which to give themselves a three-goal cushion.

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