No one ever said the FIFA corruption trials would be normal. But I don’t think anyone expected this bizarre turn of events. Kevin Jonas was called to the stand to testify for the prosecution during the ongoing court case on Thursday at a U.S. Federal Court in Brooklyn.
We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.
LaVar Ball is a knucklehead. He doesn’t know when to shut up, doesn’t know when to stop talking and also doesn’t know when he should keep his lips sealed. On Monday, he pulled his middle child out of college because he assumes he can prepare LiAngelo for the NBA better than a season with one of the nation’s best basketball programs. But it kind of makes you wonder, what if LaVar Ball was Christian Pulisic’s dad?
As far as I know, there is no actual manual for celebrating victories, but if there was, Lillestrom defender Aleksander Melgalvis Andreassean violated (hah, that's a joke, you'll see what I mean) every rule contained therein.
Here is a delightful little blurb from The Telegraph:
Newcastle United supporters have long referred to Sunderland’s Stadium of Light as the Stadium of Shite *shoots finger guns*, but that genius-level pun was taken to a seemingly literal level on Saturday after 17-year-old season ticket holder Callum Mawson was accused of shitting in the stands during his club’s 3-1 defeat to Reading.
Let me first get this out of the way: To every outlet that live tweeted every single moment of the World Cup draw, STFU — you’re wasting precious Twitter space. Second, can we take a moment to make fun of everyone who made absurd overreactions during the World Cup draw?
Twitter by nature is a platform that encourages instant, raw reaction often at the expense of thoughtful dialogue. So let's give some raw reactions to Twitter's World Cup draw reactions.
A Cologne striker has finally scored — a role in a new movie. Peruvian Claudio Pizarro voices a character in the German-language version of the new animated Pixar film “Coco,” which is out now in a Kino near you (assuming you live in Germany).
Pizarro is an old man nearing the end of his career on the pitch. He may have found a new calling with his voiceover role in “Coco,” which is about a young Mexican boy who is transported to the Land of the Dead during Día de los Muertos. The 39-year-old voices a skeleton who desperately wants to watch a soccer match.
Italy has gone over all Italian again. Chievo and Hellas Verona looked Italian cultural stereotypes dead in the face before their Coppa Italia clash Wednesday and decided "Yep, that's us" and exchanged wine and panettone (a type of Italian sweetbread) at the captains' meeting. We are not making this up.
During Chievo vs Hellas Verona today the two captains exchanged wine & panettone
This is literally the most Italian thing ever