Funny

Mohamed Salah Is A Better Cell Phone Spokesperson Than The "Can You Hear Me Now?" Guy

Every Egyptian who uses Vodafone as his or her carrier is now by default a Liverpool fan. Them's the rules.

Vodafone has announced a deal in which Egyptian Vodafone customers get 11 free minutes of cell phone talking per goal scored by Salah. Eleven minutes is the perfect amount of free talking to receive because it's Mo Salah's number and also the amount of time you can talk to your mother before she asks if there's a new special someone in your life. Sorry mom, gotta run! I'm all out of free Salah minutes!

Cristiano Ronaldo's Success Apparently Due To Being Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo was in a bad way at the beginning of the season, with a suspension and some misfiring in front of goal helping to make many football fans think he might be just about washed up. But then Ronaldo turned things around, and has since reverted back into the fire-breathing, goal-scoring hair gel dragon we all know and have very strong opinions about.

How did he do it? By being Cristiano Ronaldo, of course.

Justin Bieber Spotted Balling, But Jesus Christ He’s Wearing Two Different Cleats

The Nike Mercurial boots are designed for those who put the highest onus on explosive acceleration. They’re catered to the game’s speed merchants — think Cristiano Ronaldo or Theo Walcott. The Magistas, on the other hand, are for enhanced control and superior touch. They’re geared towards the midfield engines — like Arturo Vidal or Kevin De Bruyne. 

The Fortnite Craze Has Infiltrated The World Of Professional Soccer To Hilarious Effect

You been playing Fortnite? That’s pretty original of you to be doing that. I too tried my hand at the ridiculously popular co-op sandbox survival game and got my ass kicked, although it’s the friends we meet along the way that help us appreciate the journey. 

I met some good friends who I no longer speak to.

Anyway, there are two soccer pitches inside the Fortnite map (one of the outdoor variety, one of the indoor), and you can even kick a ball around while scoring triggers a little bit of CenturyLink Field-esque pyrotechnics. 

Should Soccer Players Wear Shin Guards?

Soccer players, for whatever reason, generally do not like wearing shin guards. It's weird. Many players go for the smallest possible shin guards in order to maximize unprotected shin surface area. Maybe it's like a weird masculine thing. I don't know.

What I do know is shin guards exist to protect one's shins from harm, and not wearing them is a fool's errand. Getting kicked in the shin hurts more than getting kicked in many other body parts, and soccer provides ample oportunity for getting kicked in the shins. You should wear shin guards so your shins don't get hurt.

Stadium X Offers The Best Fan Experience In The World

During a recent editorial meeting, we here at The18 came to the distressing conclusion that there is no one stadium that provides the perfect fan experience. Being Americans and therefore experts on amusing the masses to the point of overload, we made up our own stadium that has all the amenities that come together to create the perfect fan experience. Welcome to Stadium X, where fans have a good and cool time thanks to the following things:

A Big Ol' Pool Bar

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