Funny

These Quarantine Hairstyles Are Guaranteed To Make You Better, Faster, Stronger

Salons and barbershops are closed across the country. We’ve reached a month-long impasse: Do we opt for the quarantine cut, or do we grow it out?

I hope that you’re doing the righteous thing and adding more volume to that vinaigrette. Don't go this route:

Marcelo Balboa Recreates Best Goal In MLS History 20 Years Later

On April 22, 2000, Marcelo Balboa scored the greatest goal in MLS history for the Colorado Rapids in Columbus. The Balboa bicycle kick is an iconic goal that won MLS Goal of the Year in 2000 and is still one of, if not the, best goals in league history.

Soccer Things That Definitely Caused The Coronavirus Pandemic, Probably

Damn how we miss the soccers. Life without football filling our days and nights is not the life we expected and certainly not one we ever wanted.

It’s human nature to try to blame someone or something else for this unfortunate period of our lives. But who deserves blame for a global pandemic? 

Sure, various governments could have done more to protect their people, particularly the ones that abolished the very groups created to fight such pandemics and/or ignored the warnings of experts. 

Latest Footballer TikTok Trend Is Actually Funny

Footballers and the social media app TikTok haven’t always been the greatest combination. At first it was some cringe-worthy dances, then is it was whatever the hell Layvin Kurzawa was doing. Now the tables have turned and the latest trend is a quite humorous recreation of footballers at the “airport.” 

5-Year-Old Makes $20 Offer To Buy Favorite Player, Club Responds

Young Leeds United fan Daniel Huton was not completely disappointed after sending a letter to Brighton asking to keep his new favorite player. Five-year-old Huton’s favorite is Benjamin White, who's currently on loan at Leeds and will go back to Brighton at the end of the season. 

Huton raided his piggy bank, pulled out pen and paper and made his offer for the defender.

Fortnite Stole The Next USMNT Great

After months of in-depth research, it is all but confirmed somewhere along the line the U.S. lost its greatest potential youth player to the Fortnite gods. After being put into various game lobbies with players, there is no doubt that a soccer legend was hiding amidst the games.

The mighty “Slaminator10” I was paired up with for a match seemed to have to chops to be the USMNT’s new No. 10. Alas, Slaminator made the decisive act to pick up a controller rather than a soccer ball.

Alexander-Arnold Avenges Loris Karius By Hammering Real Madrid’s Vinícius In Stay And Play Cup

Welcome to our wall-to-wall coverage of Day 2 of the FIFA Stay and Play Cup — it's the first four matches of the Round of 16!

If you missed yesterday’s play-in round, catch up on all the action here. Wednesday was dominated by Scandinavian clubs while Marseille, Valencia, PSV and Helsinki all ate it. 

PSG's Layvin Kurzawa Has Lost His Damn Mind

A world without football is a world gone mad. That's the exact case with Layvin Kurzawa as he's clearly lost his mind after posting the most horrifying TikTok video I've seen in some time. I pray the Kurzawa TikTok saga doesn’t last too long.

Real Madrid Teases New George Foreman Looking Stadium Renovation For 100th Time

With no football being played, Real Madrid’s social media team decided now is the best time to show another video of what the club’s renovated stadium will look like. It feels like the Santiago Bernabéu renovations have been going on forever and it still reminds me of a massive George Foreman grill.

Is It “Soccer” Or “Football”? Or Could It Be “Footy Fun Ball”?

Coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic, one of my greatest hopes is that the collective joy at the beautiful game’s return forever silences the mind-numbingly pedantic “football vs. soccer” argument.

As an American media company, it’s inevitable that any piece of content we produce that takes off beyond these shores will eventually have the following top comment: “It’s football, not soccer.”

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