Fights

Maybe Majeed Waris of FC Lorient was mad that his team had just been scored on with a flying scissor kick. Maybe he was particularly mad at Jimmy Briand, the EA Guingamp forward that scored it. Maybe he was just mad that he got dragged to the ground and the ref didn’t make a call. Whatever the case, Majeed Waris proceeded to pull off the worst slide tackle we have ever seen, not in terms of the damage it did, but in terms of how cynical it was. 

Aspiring referees, pay close attention. Valenciennes’ Saliou Ciss committed nearly every single bookable offense in the space of one minute. Some of his misdemeanors, including flipping the stretcher that was sent to his aid, aren't even recognized in the rule book.

After being sent off for collecting a second yellow card against Brest in a French Ligue 2 match, Ciss absolutely lost it. Ciss isn't slowing down, or stopping, for anyone (teammates included).

Shoplifters have probably the easiest job in the robbery business, and judging by the age of the kid in this next video, this is probably true to an even higher degree. This kid can’t be more than 14 years old. He was probably trying to steal a Snickers; the debt to society he owed would have been worth its weight in hunger and post-satisfaction self-loathing. Of course, that didn’t stop things from going terribly wrong for the kid.

If you are dangerously close to losing faith in humanity, stop reading this article and go watch this video, because it doesn’t get much worse than what went down during Steaua Bucharest & Petrolul Ploiesti.

So Barcelona got beat out by Athletic Bilbao for the rights to the Spanish Super Cup. More accurately, they get embarrassed. The first game was a 4-0 drubbing that absolutely no one saw coming, and the next was embarrassing for what happened, and what didn’t. 

Miguel "El Piojo" Herrera is the coach of the Mexican national team, but maybe not for much longer after reports surfaced that he punched TV Azteca commentator Christian Martinoli in the neck at the Philadelphia airport Sunday. 

Miguel Herrera reportedly lawyering up. Being told by colleagues he assaulted a journalist last night after Gold Cup final. #Developing

There are a few names for what Chile's Gonzalo Jara did to Uruguay's Edinson Cavani in the Copa America quarterfinals, which Chile won, 1-0.

One of my coworkers called it "credit-carding." A friend who played high school soccer with my cousin calls it "checking his oil." My high school basketball coach calls it "cornholing."

There's no way to sugarcoat this: Gonzalo Jara gave Edinson Cavani an involuntary prostate exam. He stuck his finger up Edinson Cavani's ass. Then he fell to the ground and pretended Cavani hit him in the face.

Facundo Roncaglia is a right-back for Geneo. 

Facundo Roncaglia has had a respectable career that has seen him play for Boca Juniors, Espanyol, and Fiorentina. He has made 6 appearances for the Argentine national team, and has done little — as far as I know — to tarnish a reputation that is nothing if not respectable. 

Yikes. Seattle Sounders 2's Sergio Mota did a bad thing. A really bad thing. The bad thing he did was kicking LA Galaxy II's Adrian Vera in his crotch with both feet. Mota was rightly sent off, although that probably won't stop Vera from seeming a little jumpy and talking in a high-pitched voice than usual for the forseeable future. Getting hit in the nuts hurts. Getting kicked in the nuts, with two, cleated feet, must be the worst feeling in the world. Adrian Vera is pretty damn tough if he kept playing after that.

Arsenal's Alexis Sanchez comes to terms with fellow Chilean teammate Marcelo Diaz on the pitch when they faced El Salvador in a friendly before the Copa America.