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Barça Facing Group Stage Elimination After Getting Torn To Shreds By Benfica

Ronald Koeman, it’s time for your 45-second phone call.  

After an embarrassingly limp (zero shots on target) 3-0 defeat to Bayern Munich at the Camp Nou to begin Champions League play, Barcelona played even worse on Wednesday night during a 3-0 defeat to Benfica in Lisbon (one shot on target!).

Guardiola Praises ‘Unstoppable’ Messi For ‘Fantastic’ Goal Against Man City

It took him 263 minutes — a long drought by his lofty standards, a great goals per game ratio for everyone else — but Lionel Messi got his first goal for Paris Saint-Germain on Tuesday night against Manchester City in the Champions League.

Peter Schmeichel Selling Bacon Is The Perfect Bad Soccer Commercial

More famous than our smartest minds, richer than our most corrupt politicians, footballers are the pinnacle of cultural relevance in today’s society, especially in Europe. All the best footballers have, at one time or another, been paid to appear in an advertisement to promote a product. So what is the best soccer commercial of all time? I submit for your viewing pleasure, Peter Schmeichel’s bacon promo.

Zlatan Is Celebrating His 40th Birthday By Leading Sweden In World Cup Qualifying

After missing the European Championship with a knee injury that lingered into the start of the new season, AC Milan striker Zlatan Ibrahimović has been recalled to the Sweden national team for a pair of upcoming World Cup qualifiers against Kosovo (Oct. 9) and Greece (Oct. 12). Ibrahimović celebrates his 40th birthday on Oct. 3, so we’ll get to see if transitioning into the "middle age adult" stage of life has any effect on his game.

You wouldn’t think so.

Radamel Falcao Can't Stop Scoring For Rayo Vallecano And It's Beautiful

You can’t hear the name Radamel Falcao without allowing your mind to drift back to the heady days of 2012, when El Tigre was banging in the goals for Atlético Madrid (70 in 91 appearances) and Colombia (nine goals in 2014 World Cup qualifying) and finishing fifth in Ballon d’Or voting.

Of course what followed was that strange $70.4 million transfer to newly promoted Monaco, a devastating ACL injury and a crushing absence at the 2014 World Cup. 

He’s Back! Raúl Jiménez’s First Goal In A Year Is Emotional Match-Winner

SOUTHAMPTON - Wolverhampton Wanderers beat Southampton 1-0 at St Mary's Stadium on Sunday, extending the Saints' winless run to six Premier League games, after striker Raúl Jiménez scored his first goal in nearly a year.

The Mexican's solo effort in the second half was his first league goal since last October. The 30-year-old suffered a fractured skull the following month, prematurely ending his season and eventually requiring surgery.

Everyone Wants A Tobin Heath Arsenal Jersey

Tobin Heath has arrived in North London. The new Arsenal signing is available for the Gunners’ showdown with Manchester City on Sunday. But fans wanting to sport the Tobin Heath Arsenal jersey for the occasion might have some trouble getting their gear on time.

Because of high demand, Arsenal.com is reporting a delay in printing Tobin Heath jerseys. 

New England Becomes First Team To Clinch MLS Playoff Spot

Carles Gil scored in the first minute of second-half stoppage time to give the New England Revolution a hard-fought 3-2 road win over the Chicago Fire on Wednesday night, clinching an MLS playoff spot in the process.

Gil's third goal of the season, assisted by Tajon Buchanan, went past Fire goalkeeper Gabriel Slonina and also gave the Revolution a franchise-record 18th win of the year.

Bayern Munich Documentary Coming To Amazon Prime Video On Nov. 2

On Tuesday, Nov. 2, the latest club-focused soccer documentary lands on Amazon Prime Video: FC Bayern — Behind the Legend.

All six episodes will be available for streaming that day, and we really have high hopes for this one given the period in which it was filmed.

El TikTok De Jurgen Damm Es Todo Lo Que Necesitas Para Saber Cómo Es La Vida Diaria De Un Futbolista

No soy soldado de TikTok. Soy viejo y no lo tengo en mi teléfono. Sin embargo, esta última semana le he estado echando un ojo a la cuenta del futbolista Jurgen Damm

Siendo honesto, llegué a él luego de ver un artículo clickbait en el que Damm -hombre cristiano, de biblia y familia- negaba conocer a Abella Danger, una mujer que recientemente asistió a uno de los partidos del Atlanta United y que, según lo que he podido averiguar para esta investigación, es una reconocida actriz del cine para adultos.

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