Europe

Today in How Not To Take A Free Kick, we have Generic Yellow Team trying to put one in against Ajax in the Netherlands, and, you guessed it, failing terribly. 

This past week Cristiano Ronaldo scored yet another goal in the Champions League. It was his 12th goal in seven such games this year, and his 89th goal in the competition all time — effectively breaking and extending his own Champions League goal-scoring record. 

Liverpool defender Mamadou Sakho is one of the happiest dudes in the Premier League. We offer as evidence this video of Sakho zooming around Paris on a motorbike talking to himself in French. He spies former PSG and current France international teammate Blaise Matuidi standing by a car and just has to pull over and say hello.

Mamadou Sakho casually bumps into a surprised Blaise Matuidi in the streets of Paris on his motorbike. pic.twitter.com/0k2uD176mi

Manchester United loanee and soon-to-be-reject Nick Powell admitted that he forgot to watch his parent club's utterly pathetic 2-1 defeat to Midtjylland. According to Powell, he was too immersed in playing FIFA, and completely missed the match. 

I love terrible free kicks. I cannot help it. In theory, a free kick taken reasonably near the box should be a shot on target every time. In practice, hoo boy it gets interesting.

For example, take a gander at this Germany "effort" against Algeria in the 2014 World Cup. If Germany hadn't gone on to win the tournament, every player involved in this kick would have probably been keelhauled when they got back to Germany.

Miguel Layun is at it again. The Mexico international notched a goal and an assist as Porto overcome a 2-0 deficit against Moreirense to win 3-2 on Sunday. His compatriot Hector Herrera also helped out, pulling off what has to go down as one of the most acrobatic assists we've ever seen

14 touches; two goals; three assists. Talk about clinical. Valencia smashed Rapid Wien six-nil in the Europa League, and to say that youngster Santi Mina was on fire is akin to saying that Donald Trump is a little offputting.

Way better on the prediction front last week, as I predicted four correct outcomes (I picked six matches last week) and nailed three scores: Porto 2-1 over Benfica, City falling 1-2 to Spurs and Juve moving to the top of the table over Napoli, 1-0. This trend will not continue. Here are the best matches of the weekend:

1. Chelsea vs. Manchester City, Sunday 11:00 a.m EST Fox Sports 2

Dmitri Tarazov plays for Russian club Lokomotiv Moscow. Lokomotiv Moskow lost 2-0 to Turkish club Fenerbahce in Istanbul in the Europe League. After the match, Tarasov peeled off his jersey to reveal a t-shirt celebrating Russian president Vladimir Putin. This was a fairly inappropriate thing to do.

If you're not sure why a player wearing a shirt celebrating his country's president is inappropriate, here's a quick primer, via the BBC (from November):