Europe

Juventus Have A New Logo, And It Is Stupid

After an endeavor to make the Old Lady young again, Juventus FC have a new logo:

Louis Van Gaal Has Retired From Coaching

Louis van Gaal, formerly the most entertaining manager in world football, has retired. We are sad now.

Van Gaal had everything we look for in a manager who doesn't manage the club we personally root for, which is to say: antics.

This article explains basically every reason van Gaal will be missed so much, but it predates both van Gaal's famous sideline flop against Arsenal and the time he said his players needed to be more horny.

An 18-Year-Old Academy Kid With No Shin Guards Dismantled Pep Guardiola’s Philosophy

Going into Sunday’s match against Everton, Pep Guardiola was faced with the dilemma of having neither of his preferred midfield options available for selection. After Ilkay Gundogan’s cruciate ligament injury in December and Fernandinho’s suspension, the unlikely pairing of Pablo Zabaleta and the once discarded Yaya Toure were left to enact the Guardiola philosophy.

Who Is The World's Most Valuable Player?

Hold your horses and put away the torches, I’m not here to tell you that Neymar is better than Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo.

Although the top two players in the world might still outclass the young Brazilian on the pitch, they are not nearly as valuable as Barcelona’s number 11 according to a study from the CIES Football Observatory

Dutch Groundskeeper Leaves Giant Snow Weiner On Field

It was snowing on Saturday when Groningen put three goals past Heracles in nine minutes in the Eredivisie, so much so that the Heracles groundskeeper came on at halftime to clear the field.

He left a special surprise.

Francesco Totti’s Professional Career Is Now Old Enough To Rent A Car

Francesco Totti appeared in his seven millionth Serie A match for AS Roma on Sunday, failing to add to his total of 1,306,478 goals for the club but appearing for a 25th successive calendar year — a streak that first began in 218 BC when Totti helped defend Rome from the invading Carthaginian army led by Hannibal.

Over the course of the streak, Totti has helped Rome gain dominance over the Western Mediterranean, assist Caesar in his conquest of Gaul, witness the collapse of the Western Roman Empire and win the 2008 Coppa Italia.

Fiorentina Expose The Weaknesses Of A Fragile Juventus

For anyone wondering, let’s get the essentials out of the way: Fiorentina versus Juventus is a big match. This is truer for one side than the other, however. Before Sunday’s game, Juventus defender Leonardo Bonucci told the press that while the fixture was the most important date in most Florentines’ football calendar, it was just another game for the reigning champions.

Sevilla Stun Real Madrid, Halt Their Historic Unbeaten Streak At 40

Three days after Real Madrid heroically set the Spanish unbeaten streak record by scoring at the death against Sevilla in the Copa del Rey, Sevilla returned the favor in La Liga action on Sunday.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Rescues A Dramatic Point For Man Utd Against Liverpool

Liverpool travelled to the home of their most vaunted rivals and were minutes away from securing all three points, but a Zlatan Ibrahimovic header in the 84th minute rescued Manchester United.

Liverpool appeared to be in control thanks to a series of great saves from the oft-criticized Simon Mignolet on Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Ibrahimovic and an inexplicable handball from Paul Pogba while defending a corner.

James Milner dispatched the resulting penalty with a powerful effort from the spot in the 27th minute.

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