Over here in dear old Blighty, sex sells. Whether it’s a high-profile politician, a member of the royal family or a two-bit, z-list celebrity (or ideally all three), the British tabloids love nothing more than a public dalliance, the seedier the better.
So just imagine the all-pervading joy that must pulse through a tabloid editor’s veins when a sordid scandal comes along that also involves the country’s favorite sporting pastime: Cue risqué puns, grainy camera footage and enough double-entendres to sink a battle-ship (think “balls,” “tackle” and “playing away,” and you’ll start to develop a mental picture).
Thanks to Antonio Valencia’s cavalier attitude towards smartphones and multimedia, The18 now has the perfect excuse to bring you the Barclays Premier League’s five worst rogues, philanderers and cads, starting with the man of the hour.
5. Antonio Valencia
Photo: @TotallyMUFC | Twitter
Those of you who’ve witnessed Antonio Valencia plying his trade down the right wing for Man United won’t be shocked to learn that decision-making isn’t the Ecuadorian’s forte. How else, after all, are we to explain how a married, high profile sportsman and father of one thinks it’s a good idea to text random girls pictures of his appendage?
Two women have claimed that Valencia sent them texts and lewd images, though the man himself denies it: “Pictures? I’ve not sent any pictures.” The front page of The Sun would suggest otherwise, Antonio.
4. Ryan Giggs
Photo: @MUnitedEs | Twitter
One would think that the man who has played more Premier League games, more Champions League games and accumulated more Premier League winner’s medals than any other human being dead or alive would be content with his lot. Not Ryan Giggs.
Despite his best efforts to have the media gagged, stories began to emerge in 2011 that the Premier League’s senior statesman had been having an affair with a former Big Brother contestant, significantly damaging his wholesome image as a yoga-loving family man.
But his dalliance with a reality TV “star” was blown out of the water just a month later when it emerged he was in the midst of an eight-year affair with his brother’s wife, whom he met before his brother did, but after he himself was married and whom he continued to see even after she married his brother - including whilst his own wife was pregnant and whilst his brother’s wife / sister-in law / lover was also pregnant.
Still following all this? No, us neither. Let’s move on.
3. Ashley Young
Photo: @fifa15facts_ | Twitter
Everyone has their own pre-match routine. Some like to listen to music, others have a favorite pre-game meal (low-fat chips, for example), and a few even lace their boots up in a specific order (though you’re pretty much limited to right before left, or vice versa).
Prior to England’s Euro 2008 qualifier against Russia, it emerged that Ashley Young had a pre-match routine too: let’s just say it involved his right hand, some lubricant and a webcam.
Use your imagination.
2. Wayne Rooney
Photo: @Sqawka | Twitter
Back in 2004, when Wayne Rooney was still a fresh(ish) faced teenager, a UK tabloid obtained CCTV footage of the then Everton striker visiting a brothel in one of Liverpool’s less salubrious areas. It transpired that Rooney had visited as many as ten times, paying for sex with, among others, “a 48-year old grandmother dressed in a rubber catsuit.” So brazen was Rooney during his visits that he would sign autographs for other punters and, on one occasion, was met by 30 or so Evertonians outside the brothel chanting his name.
We’d love to tell you that Wayne matured and came to realize that sleeping with hookers was good for neither him nor his family, but we’d be lying.
1. John Terry
Photo: @PurelyFootball | Twitter
Captaincy bestows upon the chosen few a great deal of responsibility: one must be an example to teammates, a motivator of men both trusted and revered in equal measure. Which must be why then England Captain John Terry (married father of two) thought it would be excellent for team morale to start an affair with one of his teammate’s partners.
Just a few months before Terry was due to lead England into the 2010 World Cup, the media was awash with stories of Terry’s philandering ways with the partner of England and former Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge. Terry and his lawyers sought to hush up the affair by having a super injunction imposed on the media, while he also reputedly tried to buy Bridge’s partner’s silence for the princely sum of £1. Needless to say, he was relieved of the England captaincy shortly thereafter.
John George Terry: Dad of the Year, 2009.
