There’s a little Ralph Wiggum in all of us. From the doofus who plays soccer with basketball shoes on to one of the best coaches in Europe, we can all relate to the rotund dimwit from The Simpsons from time to time. Jupp Heynckes should listen to the sage advice from one Ralph Wiggum: “My doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.”
Wiggum once told a private investigator “I once picked my nose ’til it bleeded.” He clearly knows what he’s talking about in the realm of nasal hemorrhaging. And while Heynckes is not a undeveloped second grader like Ralph, they apparently share similar finger-to-nose habits.
Lost in the madness of the epic DFB-Pokal match between Bayern Munich and RB Leipzig on Wednesday, which Bayern won in a penalty shootout, Heynckes picked his nose so hard it bled. It bled a lot.
Heynckes, 72, needed the medical trainers to stop the flow of blood from his nose, but not before some dribbled onto his shirt. By the second half, Heynckes had changed from a sports coat and dress shirt into a red T-shirt and a track jacket.
Jupp Heynckes in a change of close after bleeding on his first outfit. Note the cotton still in his nose. Photo: @MiaSanMiaNews | Twitter
“Everything is not so bad,” Heynckes said. “I snuffled too deep into my handkerchief, and then I had nosebleeds.”
Die Bild has the full story replete with more photos of an old man with a nosebleed. Let this be a lesson to all of us: Even if you can pick your team from some of the best players in the world, you really shouldn’t pick your nose.
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