Ronald Koeman, it’s time for your 45-second phone call.
After an embarrassingly limp (zero shots on target) 3-0 defeat to Bayern Munich at the Camp Nou to begin Champions League play, Barcelona played even worse on Wednesday night during a 3-0 defeat to Benfica in Lisbon (one shot on target!).
Shit hit the fan as early as the third minute. Pedri was dispossessed in midfield and a quick ball over the top of Barça’s high line isolated Darwin Núñez against Eric García out wide.
Darwin hit him with a couple stepovers, cut inside and beat Marc-André ter Stegen at the near post.
BENFICA TAKE THE LEAD OVER BARCA WITHIN 3 MINUTES pic.twitter.com/rwaIDOyKpI
— CBS Sports Golazo ⚽️ (@CBSSportsGolazo) September 29, 2021
The only Barcelona player who doesn’t deserve damning condemnation is Frenkie de Jong, but even his evening had an element of the comedic about it.
Barça almost responded immediately after the opener with some classic play around Benfica’s area, and De Jong was unselfish in ultimately squaring it back for Luuk de Jong for what looked like a certain goal. However, Lucas Veríssimo produced an incredible last-ditch block to deny the Dutch striker.
Not long after, Frenkie burst into the area with a run from deep and was picked out with a ball over Benfica’s backline. Instead of working goalkeeper Odysseas Vlachodimos one-on-one, the midfielder inexplicably tried another unselfish pass, this one with his head, back into the path of Luuk. Benfica cleared.
With Frenkie not shooting and Memphis Depay only attempting one shot that was blocked, it was clear there wasn’t any goal threat from the Blaugrana. In defense, Gerard Piqué picked up an early booking and then appeared to be carrying a knock as Koeman took him off in the 33rd minute for the 17-year-old Gavi.
Barcelona’s shape was precarious, and seven minutes into the second half Darwin again found himself played into space out wide. Ter Stegen came racing out as sweeper keeper, but it was laughable how ill-judged that maneuver was. Darwin easily beat him on the dribble, but his curled shot from distance struck the outside of the post and went out.
Koeman recognized the need for a drastic change and made a triple sub in the 68th — brining on Ansu Fati, Philippe Coutinho and Nico González. No one knew where to go or what the hell they were doing and Benfica added a second.
The shape before Benfica's second. I mean what in the actual fuck.
BENFICA 2-0 BARCELONA pic.twitter.com/2gieR7W97i
— CBS Sports Golazo ⚽️ (@CBSSportsGolazo) September 29, 2021
As an American I don’t feel like showing you the third. Let’s just say that a certain defender, rhymes with Ferpiño Mest, put his hand where it should not go and Darwin converted the subsequent penalty.
The 22-year-old Uruguayan striker had a night to remember, and Josep Maria Bartomeu is probably trying to engineer a swap deal for Martin Braithwaite and one free tour of the club shop as we speak.
There was still time for Eric García to get a red card, ruling him out of what’s now a must-win game against Dynamo Kyiv on Oct. 20.
Last year, Barcelona’s incredible streak of 13 straight seasons of reaching at least the quarterfinals came to an end. This season, Barcelona is now looking at avoiding a group stage elimination for the first time since the 2000-01 campaign, when the club finished third behind AC Milan and Leeds United.
