To hear the Australian FA tell it, the Australian Women's National Team was defeated by only the slimmest of margins, with the mighty USA being outplayed by the plucky underdogs who nearly slipped away with the game in hand.
This is not what happened, of course, but this is the tone of the match recap on the Australian FA's website, which might be the funniest thing I've ever read. The article, titled "Australia v USA: 4 Things We Learnt" stretched even the boundaries of blatant homerism in the media.
The first thing they learnt: "The USA, well, they're just not that good."
The second thing they learnt: "Australia has developed into a world-class team."
That portion of the article also includes this gem: "this team is fabulous to watch and has developed to a point where they are clearly a better footballing nation than the U.S."
Read the whole thing here. It merits mentioning here that the USWNT won the game in question, 3-1.
Some of the Twitter reactions were even funnier than the article itself.
@runofplay What AUS learnt: "Moon graciously offers to be landt upon by space-weary, unimaginative US astronaut."
— C&C Content Factory (@victorydrive) June 9, 2015
@runofplay "we were totally in command of tonight's marathon, until we curled up on the side of the road after 16 miles"
— matthew (@matthewcr) June 9, 2015
The bug dazzled observers with elegant flight and graceful form, while the windshield relied on mere speed #StaffWriter
— Dan Loney (@DanLoney36) June 9, 2015
While Barack Obama relied on stale tactics like "getting a lot more votes," it was Mitt Romney who ran the finer campaign #StaffWriter
— Dan Loney (@DanLoney36) June 9, 2015
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus