Completing The “Balotelli Challenge” Is Now Going To Take Up Too Much Of Your Time

For clarification, the Balotelli Challenge does not refer to a competition in which you try to piss your coaches and teammates off with questionable behavior on and off the pitch. Nor does it mean trying a fancy finish when you’re clear on goal or wielding goal celebrations that are nearly obnoxious enough to get you punched in the mouth. Ah, enough I suppose. Mario Balotelli has been through the ringer these past few years.

If You Want To Make Varsity This Year, Spend All Of Tryouts Trying To Pull This Off

First things first, I’m not 100 percent certain we’ve agreed on a term for this particular skill. Is it a piece of back heel control? A rabona touch? An inverse rabona? A Nasty Neymar? From henceforth, it should be known as the Ballad of Ahmadzadeh Farshad. 

Alberto Moreno Pulls Off A Poetic Double Nutmeg Like A Young Rimbaud

After playing 56 games last season, Liverpool FC basically said to hell with it and just kept playing. The Reds began their 2018-19 fixture list back on July 7 as part of a nine-game preseason tour that includes a trip to Ireland and the United States. This is how Jurgen Klopp ensures that the gegenpressing is still pressing come the 90th minute of matches in May.   

This Piece Of Kylian Mbappe Filth Has Got The Internet Going Nuts

Throughout the entirety of the France vs Belgium semifinal, you could do nothing but watch and wonder when Eden Hazard and Kylian Mbappe got on the ball. How is it possible that these two are this good? The pair's simply unplayable when on form, and both have clearly been at their best in Russia.

In the first half, Hazard went off on a terrorizing run after doing in Benjamin Pavard. His flurry of feet to then ruin Pavard again and drift inside Paul Pogba was poetry in motion.

Ricardo Quaresma Scores Tastiest Goal Of World Cup With Ridiculous Trivela

Portugal struggled to break down the stout defense of Team Melli for about 45 minutes. Then came the absurd Ricardo Quaresma goal vs Iran to flip the tie on its head.

In February, we crowned Quaresma the King of the Trivela. The Besiktas winger brought his beautiful technique with him to Russia and scored what may be the most sumptuous goal of the World Cup thus far.

Samuel Armenteros Is Running Away With MLS Goal Of The Week Honors

What a weekend of goals we had! Lost in all the hullabaloo surrounding Gareth Bale’s remarkable bicycle kick and Loris Karius’ equally brilliant goofs, Major League Soccer threw up an insane solo effort from the Portland Timbers’ Samuel Armenteros. 

Jonas Hector Eliminates Two Defenders With An Outrageous Turn Before Chipping The Keeper

And so it’s confirmed: German international and FC Cologne left back Jonas Hector is the most likable footballer on the planet. Weeks after committing his future to an already relegated Cologne, despite being able to transfer to pretty much any team on the planet, Hector proceeded to score this worldie against Wolfsburg on Saturday.

Dude Uses Move HE INVENTED To Brutalize His Marker On The Court

Issy “Hitman” Hamdaoui is a legend of street football. Hamdaoui is part of the Streetkings collective, founded by the godfather of Dutch street football, Edward van Gils (the two were featured as playable characters in FIFA Street 2). Hamdaoui has made countless contributions to the game, but he’s perhaps most famous for pioneering the AKKA 3000 move.

Should 19-Year-Olds Really Be Allowed To Sombrero Professionals Like This?

Perhaps the most pathetic news of the week was Neymar missing Paris Saint-Germain’s resounding, title-clinching 7-1 victory over rival Monaco on Sunday — the 273 million dollar man preferring to play online poker in Brazil rather than celebra