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Why Carles Puyol Might Come To Colorado

So a Spanish newspaper reported that Carles Puyol, former Barcelona and Spain captain and one of the best defensive players of all time, might come out of retirement to play for the Colorado Rapids.  

This, understandably, is big news, and even though the Denver Post reported that there wasn't any truth to the rumor, we're going to go ahead and pretend like this is a done deal because it is so awesome.  

Can you imagine what the man who smothered Cristiano Ronaldo in the 2010 Champion's League final would do to MLS forwards? Granted, Puyol retired because of injuries that have likely taken most of his quickness away from him, but, let's be honest, it's the MLS. Puyol will have no trouble making opposing forwards miserable. 

This is a weird scenario, though, because Colorado isn't really looked at as a destination for aging international superstars. They mostly stick to New York, Los Angeles, Chicago (Cuauhtemoc Blanco), and — strangely — Orlando.  

This is a destination that makes total sense for Carles Puyol though. He ended his career racked by injuries that some have said affect him even in his daily life.  

Trivia question: what is a great way to ease pain? Answer: Marijuana. 

Another question: what drug is legal in Colorado? Answer: Marijuana. 

It's all starting to make sense. 

It's true that the Rapids need scoring more than they need defense, and some people see this potential signing as unnecessary. But players of Puyol's caliber don't come along often, especially for Colorado, who hasn't had a bona-fide international superstar since Carlos Valderrama and his frizzy hair were roaming the Rapids' midfield. And, seriously, Puyol might be a great option at forward for the Rapids.

The Rapids should use the legal-weed card more often when looking to attract transfers. We bet Zlatan Ibrahimovic might smile upon Colorado, and he did just (reportedly) apply for a U.S. visa.

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