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White Hart Lane Bans Selfie Sticks

People of the world, the uprising has begun. Tottenham has banned selfie sticks from White Hart Lane. This is the best news we have heard all day.

We cannot think of anything more frustrating than enjoying a thrilling game in a packed stadium, only to have your view of the action obstructed by a group of people huddling together in front of you in order to get in on some selfie stick action. Even the words "selfie stick action" make us shudder.

If there has been, or ever will be, a damning indication of humanity’s infatuation with itself, it is the selfie stick. Say what you want about the selfie stick's ability to take great group photos, or how they’re great for people on vacation who are tired of asking strangers to take their photograph. The interaction between social media and digital photography has gone too far. 

Digital cameras were awesome. Instagram was great, although everyone seems to forget it was discovered by hipsters. But the selfie stick is obnoxious.

If there is ever a future rendition of “I love the 80s,” and let’s face it, there is definitely going to be one, the 2014 edition will be chock full of people who run the gamut of selfie stick nostalgia. 

We can picture it now…

Someone hands a guest on the show a selfie stick, “Hey, remember these!?” 

A 50-year-old paris Hilton responds, “Oh. My. God. Selfie Sticks, how did you find one of these! I had one, me and my friends loved it.”

The show cuts to an equally elderly Seth Rogen, who is obviously sitting next to James Franco. Seth says, “Holy s*** a selfie stick. Why the f*** do you have one of these things?” He laughs, but cannot hide the concern on his face. 

Franco concurs, “If there was one thing wrong with my generation it was these f****** things.” Franco and Rogen then proceed to have a selfie stick sword fight, Rogen’s trademark chuckle can be heard. 

The narrator then goes on to explain what happened to all those selfie sticks after people got bored with them, and explains how they were donated to science and repurposed as crutches. 

At any rate, back to current day. 

We here at The18 would just like to say thanks to Tottenham. Thanks to your efforts, we can look back to these days with pride in our hearts knowing that, yes, many people were obsessed with taking pictures of themselves, but there were those who saw the error in our ways, and they tried to put a stop to it all. 

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