Mario Balotelli's move from Liverpool to Nice has been finalized, which has unleashed a takepocalypse among soccer writers jockying to say the most outlandish things in the world about the 26-year-old Italian like they think whoever comes up with the hottest Balotelli take gets to be king of the press box.
So here's one more, f*** it.
Take: this move is good for all parties.
This move is good for Liverpool because they got an expensive player who wasn't ever going to play off the books.
This move is good for Balotelli because he's too young and too good to just be training with the reserves and collecting a check.
This move is good for Nice because Balotelli is still very good at soccer (that little tidbit has seemingly gotten lost in the midst of the takepocalypse) and they have experience taking players of a less, um, coachable nature and making them into monsters.
I seem to recall a young, talented Premier League reject named Hatem Ben Arfa who transferred to Nice and had an altogether positive experience. Ben Arfa now plays for PSG and dances on people.
Balotelli is taking over the number nine shirt vacated by Ben Arfa, and will hope his tenure at Nice follows a similar path to the Frenchman's.
This move is good for soccer in general because, again, Mario Balotelli is too good to sit on the bench and collect a check. He adds entertainment value to any game he's in, regardless of whether he's playing well, and we appreciate that.
The only thing bad about this transfer, really, has been the takes.