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Iranian Footballer Receives Six-Month Ban For Sporting SpongeBob Trousers

There’s a famous SpongeBob SquarePants episode called “Idiot Box” where both SpongeBob and his best friend, Patrick Star, inhabit an empty cardboard box, allowing them to climb mountains, launch space shuttles and venture to “Robot-Pirate Island”, all with the power of their own imagination.

When Iranian goalkeeper Sosha Makani, a 29-year-old who has represented the national team and plays for Persepolis in the Iran Pro League, put on a pair of yellow trousers, not even he could have used the “Idiot Box” to imagine the dire consequences that awaited him.

According to the Iranian sports news agency Varzesh3, Makani has been “suspended for six months because of yellow trousers.” The online news agency Asriran confirmed the actions of the committee in charge of upholding the morality of Iran’s football federation by reporting: “SpongeBob [trousers] cause six-month suspension for Sosha”. 

An unnamed member of this committee said, “We took this decision because of his appearance and the impact it can have on the society.”

Plankton says goodbye

Makani's probable last words before his suspension. Photo: @NickelodeonTV | Twitter

Now, I’m no expert on Machiavellianism, but the repression and apparent fear of an energetic and optimistic sea sponge doesn’t bode particularly well for viewing politics as anything other than amoral themselves. Maybe Makani should borrow a line from SpongeBob and just ask: “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?”


(H/T: The Guardian

Follow me on Twitter: @ConmanFleming

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