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Happy Birthday Zlatan!

And, like everyone else, he got some presents.

Today Zlatan Ibrahimovic turns 33, the same age as Jesus. Not that I am suggesting there is a connection, even though I wrote an article championing that very idea two days ago.

If Zlatanism is, in fact, a new religion, today is its holy day.

To commemorate Ibra’s 33rd birthday, French club Toulouse, against whom Zlatan has scored five times in four games, sent the PSG star a congratulatory letter and some presents.

The presents included some balm for his heel, two Toulouse jerseys with his children’s names on them, and a shoot-em-up video game. This got me thinking, what else did Zlatan get for his birthday?

From The18: A copy of his own biography, “I am Zlatan” (alternative title: The Bible, not that I am suggesting anything).

From Ajax: A CD-mix that’s just “Baby Come Back” by Player over and over and over again.

From Pep Guardiola: A number 9 “Suarez” Barcelona jersey.

From Sweden: Some kind of medal.

From UEFA President Michael Platini: A $25,000 watch, along with a note saying “If you could hold onto this for a bit that would get the ethics committee off my back be a birthday present of some sort. Yes. That’s it."

From his agent: A copy of FIFA 2002 with a note that reads, “I WE really made a lot of money on that one didn’t I WE Zlatan?”

Here’s to another 33. Long live Zlatan.

Follow Sam Klomhaus on twitter @SamKlomhaus

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