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Maradona Is Back Coaching, Reminding Us That Argentina Threw Away One Of Messi's World Cups

It never ceases to amaze me that with a 23-year-old Lionel Messi entering the height of his powers as a footballer, the Argentine Football Association decided to put Diego Maradona in charge of the national team for the 2010 World Cup. In his previous managerial experience, Maradona had collected three wins, eight draws and 12 losses, good for a win percentage of 13%.

So he was placed in charge la Albiceleste, told pundits they “take it up the ass”, grabbed his crotch and said “suck it and keep on sucking”, deployed Messi preposterously deep throughout qualifying, declared Jonas Gutierrez Argentina’s main man apart from Javier Mascherano and Messi, announced his squad of 23 after driving over a photographer’s foot and calling him an “asshole” for putting his leg where it might get run over, omitted Inter treble winners Javier Zanetti and Esteban Cambiasso, grew a beard because his dog almost ate his face, called his players “wildcats”, belittled Bastian Schweinsteiger before the quarterfinals and finally watched Germany lay waste to his horribly unbalanced side, 4-0. 

That's a brief synopsis of his Argentina reign. 

Great players can often make terrible managers, and Maradona is obviously an example of that. He returned briefly to manage Al-Wasl in the UAE Football League, but he was promptly sacked after winning only seven of his first 22 matches.


Back in May, Maradona returned to coaching in the UAE, this time in the second division with Fujairah SC. The club are currently in preseason, but you can watch Maradona in all of his managerial splendor in the following videos.

Here he is in an extremely bougie room with a bunch of men awkwardly clapping along to “Despacito”. 

Here he is punting a free kick into the upper corner while some sycophants make him feel real special.

And here he is applying pressure in a high-octane training drill.

I hope this all works. I hope Fujairah earn promotion to the first division, win the first division, win the AFC Champions League and then win the Club World Cup. But I'd be more willing to bet that Maradona won't be their manager come 2018.

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