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A Child Is Born: Griezmann Mbappé Is Chilean Hospital's First Baby Of 2022

Someone make him a Transfermarkt profile!

Big news out of Copiapó, Chile today where the illegitimate love child of French football superstars Antoine Griezmann and Kylian Mbappé was found after being born on New Year's Day at 9:09 p.m. local time. Three Wise Men followed a star to his birthplace, bearing gifts of a large buyout clause, CR7 fragrance and baby-sized adidas Copa Mundials.

Just kidding. Griezmann and Mbappé didn't make a baby together, but Teodora Pacaje and her husband — two Bolivian parents currently residing in Chile — did just name their newborn son Griezmann Mbappé. As Griezmann Mbappé was the hospital's first birth of 2022, his arrival went viral. 

"We love football," Teodora Pacaje told the local press. "I chose the first name and his dad gave him the name Mbappé."

The boy's full name is Griezmann Mbappé Chambi Pacaje. 

This is possibly the world's first Griezmann Mbappé after a French court denied the existence of his predecessor. 

After winning the World Cup in 2018, one extremely horny French couple got as far as putting "Griezmann Mbappé" on their newborn's birth certificate, however, the local registrar declared that the name is "against the child's best interests or infringing on the rights of third parties to protect their family name."

He's now some unknown schmuck like the rest of us, whereas the child who has been born King of the Footballers now resides in Chile.

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