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Want To Play Like Zlatan Or Graham Zusi? You Can Now Order A Clip-On Man Bun

Don’t shoot the messenger.

When most mere mortals are out playing in the streets, they’ll casually yell something like “Pogba!” or “Ronaldo!” when completing some audacious pass or string of step-overs. But if you, like me, are invincible and legend, you’ll scream “Zusi!” or “Andy Carroll!” or “wee Joe Allen!” when you get stuck in or while you're riding the pine. These are proper footballers, conjoined by one common thread: They all have spectacular man buns (Zusi used to, but now he’s a giant fraud). 

Anyway, your game on the streets just got a whole lot more visceral — you’re gonna feel it in your loins — because you can now totally embody the game’s biggest stars by ordering a clip-on man bun. As that Men’s Wearhouse guy would say, you’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.  

You can get your bun in brown, black or blonde, but you can’t be ginger prince Paul Scholes + man bun. That's a damn shame.

Regardless, it’s only $8 from BlueCrate.com! Just get one for a friend, they'll LOVE IT! 

Here are some proper man bun footballer looks that you can emulate out there.

Joe Allen’s Little Spice Of Life

Soccer man bun

You would look great like this. Photo: @CZazzera | Twitter

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Ninja Warrior

Embed from Getty Images

Andy Carroll’s Braids-To-Bun

soccer man bun

Intricate but totally worth it. Photo: @WestHamFZ | Twitter

Graham Zusi’s Salad Bar

soccer man bun

You'd be smiling too with such a bun. Photo: @wickie72 | Twitter

Marko Arnautovic’s Coleslaw  

soccer man bun

He may have a man bun, but he's still a hard man. Photo: @MUFC_exclusive | Twitter

David Beckham’s I Live In Spain Now

soccer man bun

The Bunfather Photo: @maggiedaniels0 | Twitter

Loris Karius Slightly Concussed Bun

soccer man bun

The bun will atone for those errors. Photo: @GuidettiPasta | Twitter

Gareth Bale’s Chef-d’oeuvre 

soccer man bun

Man's bun is a man's bun. Photo: @GuidettiPasta | Twitter

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