Want To Play Like Zlatan Or Graham Zusi? You Can Now Order A Clip-On Man Bun
When most mere mortals are out playing in the streets, they’ll casually yell something like “Pogba!” or “Ronaldo!” when completing some audacious pass or string of step-overs. But if you, like me, are invincible and legend, you’ll scream “Zusi!” or “Andy Carroll!” or “wee Joe Allen!” when you get stuck in or while you're riding the pine. These are proper footballers, conjoined by one common thread: They all have spectacular man buns (Zusi used to, but now he’s a giant fraud).
Anyway, your game on the streets just got a whole lot more visceral — you’re gonna feel it in your loins — because you can now totally embody the game’s biggest stars by ordering a clip-on man bun. As that Men’s Wearhouse guy would say, you’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.
You can get your bun in brown, black or blonde, but you can’t be ginger prince Paul Scholes + man bun. That's a damn shame.
Regardless, it’s only $8 from BlueCrate.com! Just get one for a friend, they'll LOVE IT!
Here are some proper man bun footballer looks that you can emulate out there.
Joe Allen’s Little Spice Of Life
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Ninja Warrior
Andy Carroll’s Braids-To-Bun
Graham Zusi’s Salad Bar
Marko Arnautovic’s Coleslaw
David Beckham’s I Live In Spain Now
Loris Karius Slightly Concussed Bun
Gareth Bale’s Chef-d’oeuvre